Taking a peek at my future

Hello,

I think it is very good that you are here even though your husband is still with you. what you are experiencing at the moment is called anticipatory grief, grieving for our loss while the person we are about to lose is still with us. And I think that while nothing can really prepare you for what you are going to feel once your husband is gone, you can prepare yourself a little bit by being here, by reading posts, by sharing thoughts and simply by knowing that it is soon going to happen to you.

how is your husband doing? see often awake and are you able to talk about the impending loss?

sending lots of love and strength,Mel

Hi

he has had a bad morning with pain, they have struggled to get his pain under control but getting there hopefully

because the cancer has invaded his bone marrow he is reliant upon being able or willing to travel once per week to the local hospital to have platelets and blood transfusion to keep him clotting

it is heartbreaking as 12 weeks ago he was a strong fireman running a couple of times per week , walking our dog daily , cooking for us. He retired end of May !!

so much for our dreams of travelling and enjoying his retirement, no more working bank holidays and nights and weekends 

little did we know what was lurking round the corner 

Di

Hi Dee,

it is so sad. There were the two of you looking forward to retirement and he did retire so recently and now he is so ill. and this is what this grief is as well: a grieve for the future you will not have.

I hope that they got the pain medication right so that he is almost pain-free now. I suppose that is a good thing even if it's sometimes means that our partners won't be very awake or alert anymore.

are you staying with him all the time? It must be so hard on you but also it is so good that you are there.

sending lots of love your way.

Mel