Should I ask

FormerMember over 3 years ago

2 replies
24 subscribers
596 views

I wonder if anybody can give me some advice ?

This will probably sound strange but all the time my husband was poorly I felt like I was kept in the dark about everything treatments unanswered questions

Myself and my daughter think maybe Ian knew he only had months

Which that was he's choice not to tell everyone

I am meeting with the cancer nurse specialist this Friday

I feel it would maybe give me some closure

If he didn't know he only had months I need to get to the bottom of it why I wasn't kept up to date with everything why no one answered my questions

The main thing I need to know did they do everything they possibly could do to help him

Thankyou for listening

Marie x

MelanieL over 3 years ago

Hello Marie,

Thank you so much for sharing with all of us here.

Personally, I would advise you to ask the nurse all the questions you have, regardless of how unimportant they may seem or how much you feel it would be better not to ask. You have the right to get answers to all your questions.

I went into the cancer hospital in Dublin only one week after Paul's death three years ago. I was clearly not ready. I asked questions but was not really able to hear the answers. Months later, and still sometimes today, I wish I had not gone in on that day and would be able to have gone in later or maybe even go in today, I would ask different quetions and understand the answers.

Best wishes

Mel

I don't like the term "moving on" because it sounds to me like we are leaving our loved ones and the life we had with them behind. I like the term "moving forward" as it implies that, while life goes on, our loved ones are still with us in our hearts and minds.

FormerMember over 3 years ago in reply to MelanieL

Hi Mel

I'm sorry for your loss

Thank you for your reply

I am going to see the cancer nurse with my brother in law so hopefully he can ask the questions if I can't

Really if I'm honest I haven't really had any contact what so ever from the team

I'm not going to be angry I just need closure

If Ian did know and wanted to protect me that is just typical of my amazing husband he's always protected me from everything I miss him so so much

Take care

Marie x

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