Sadly I'm new here

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Hi 

I lost my soul mate last Thursday with a short painful battle with cancer 

I am absolutely devasted 

I am finding it really hard to cope 

25 years we were together I can't see any future without him 

We did everything together he was my best friend 

He's funeral this Thursday I'm absolutely terrified 

  • So sorry for your loss.

    It’s 34 weeks today since I lost my wonderful Chris after a short battle and I understand totally how you’re feeling. The ‘good’ thing about this group is that we all understand what we’re going through…..I know good is an odd word to use as there’s nothing good about this place we’re in.

    With regard to his funeral, someone close to me said that I should think of it as a last chance to publicly do something for someone who had been the centre of my world and who I loved completely. I really tried to hold on to this thought and although I wept silently through most of the service, it did stop me having a complete meltdown. 

    Come back to this group as often as you feel the need- there is lots of support from the lovely, kind and supportive people here. They get what you’re going through and nobody judges, but often will provide words of comfort. Don’t feel you have to write, I’ve often found that just reading posts helps me.

    Try to be kind to yourself, take things at a pace that is right for you.

    Sending hugs

    Jane

    x

  • Hi Kikidotty. I’m so sorry you find yourself here with us all but rest assured we all know just how you are feeling. Four months ago today my beloved husband died after a 34 year marriage and we too did everything together. His funeral worried me but I went there knowing it was something I wanted and needed to do for him. I looked upon the day as his special day and I just knew he was holding me up through it all and that he would have been proud. Your love will be the same so cry if you want or just be silent - you do what feels right for you both. 
    Someone is always here so keep in touch.

    June x

  • Hi June 

    I'm so sorry for your loss 

    Thankyou for your words of comfort

    This forum has been here for me throughout our difficult journey

    From nearly diagnosed to treatments then unfortunately I'm here in this group 

    It's always comforting to know people who are going through the same situation 

    Thank You again 

    Marie x

    Lorraine 

  • Hi Kikidotty,

    Sadly we seem to be in the same path - my wife died on Wednesday and I too have her service upcoming. I am not using the word funeral, we're calling it a celebration of her life, wearing bright clothes and banning black - I am so nervous but determined to do her proud and give her the perfect day that she deserves.

    Wishing you love and strength as you walk down this terrible path.

    Si X

  • Ohhh si I'm so so sorry for your loss 

    Like myself you cared for your beloved wife all the way through this cruel awful journey 

    Once again im sorry si 

    Please keep in touch add me as a friend if you want we can private message up to you 

    I will be thinking of you and your family 

    Stay strong and look after yourself 

    Marie x

    Lorraine 

  • So sorry to see new members names added to our group... each name represents yet another life taken too soon by this awful bloody cruel disease. 

    It seems the past 18 months cancer patients have often been silently forgotten... over -shadowed by the pandemic.

    But, everyone on this site can truly understand and we are all here for each other. Some come on often, others just ocassionally but we can all appreciate the grief, emotions and even anger at this time.

    There are no magic words... just take things at your pace, a minute,  an hour, a day at a time. 

    We all deal with funerals in our own way,: with tears, with dry eyes, with anger, with family or with solitude ... there is no right or wrong. You do it YOUR way for you and for your loved one who has passed away. 

    Remember, we are all here supporting each other, some verbally, others, just by being part of this group.

    Sending big hug to all...

    Mym x

  • So sorry for your loss.

    We too did everything together,she was my best friend ever.7 weeks now and i find keeping busy helps you to concentrate on other things.i find from 4pm onwards is a hard time.we all have to be positive and keep going which is what are loved ones would want us to do.