Still hurts every day 5 years lost my husband to cancer also my dad 5 years my mum 6 years ,all taken from me hurts every day then I moved 250 miles to be close to sons and now I hate it ,I can't get to graveside or have the same feelings I had when was home, I so much want to go back but scared am going back to nothing and just memories in my head and familiar places I no it's all a worry , but hate were I stay my son's are here but hardly hear from them and my freinds back home I miss them so much ,through covid I've been a mess and relived every moment of my husband's pain he endured through his cancer I keep asking myself why you all leave me ,I've had to have support through mental health as wasint coping so hard to loose a loved one i feel every day a struggle since 5 years so so hard hate my life how it's changed, I just want to turn back time yet I no my husband told me be happy and he will always be around and told me he will wait at pearly gates when my time is ready yet I still struggle each day ,since the losses I've never been able to talk on a phone or answer a call and loose my speach a lot doctor said it's ptsd with all the stress of the losses I don't no just so hard x
