My wife

Hi, so sorry to read your post - I lost my husband 7 weeks today and it is so so hard - I today received my husband's ashes, feel that I have brought him home - don't think I'll ever be the same again - as you say little things throw up memories all the time - I have found this site helps as there are lovely people suffering as well and it helps greatly - please take care.

Hi Steveho, 

My wife’s Ashes are right by my bed, Lynn is really close so comforting for me.  In her casket is her wedding ring and jewellery she always wore.  Not everyone keeps their loved ones ashes, but I’m keeping Lynn’s forever in my mind she is still here of sorts and as long as I have her ashes I’m okay.  After 15 months I don’t know what to do Lynn is totally irreplaceable.   

Oh Steve it’s very very early days for you. It’s 13 weeks this coming Sunday I lost my darling David and I’m still in a pretty bad place. However, I put David’s ashes, like you, out of sight at first but now they are very much in view in the Star Wars Death Star pot I got for him! He’d find that very amusing. He had the best sense of humour I was always laughing. Now I’m always crying. 
Life is very cruel you are right. 
However do reach out on here, get counselling, let all your emotions out whenever and wherever you are and hope (like we all do) that eventually you can live alongside your grief rather than suffocated by it. But, it will take time and unfortunately there is no short cut. I only wish there was. 
Be good to yourself. I try all sorts to help, nothing much does but I continue to try ... for David if not myself. 
xx 

Hello Steve

Such early days for you. It’s over seven months for me, 220 days in fact. All sorts of things trigger memories of the 46 years we shared and ridiculous things make me cry. 
I still have Chris’ ashes- they’re next to his chair where he’d sit and drink his coffee, looking out over his beautiful garden. He’ll be tutting right now as the same old corner has flooded with all the recent rain!

This site is so supportive. People are so kind with what they share and what they say. But be kind to yourself, take care and do things when you’re ready, not when others tell you you should.

Jane

x

Hello

1. i received Stephen’s ashes 2 days ago. We want to be scattered together so they will stay with me until it’s my time. It is incredibly hard. The pain can be unbearable. I think all we can do is just take one day at a time. But I find that hard too as some days seem so long and empty. I still keep thinking I see him in a crowd and when I wake I have those few seconds where I have forgotten he has gone and turn over expecting to see him next to me. Life is hard but I know I have to keep going. I promised him I would. I’m so sorry you are experiencing this pain 

I'm sorry for us all having to face this pain. It's really so so hard.

I just took myself for an evening jog to try help myself... came home, sat on the bench in my front garden and sobbed. 

What can you do!? I try all I can to help myself feel better but nothing does. Nothing helps a broken heart. Time is all I can hope for that will make the pain more bearable. 

13 weeks on by Sunday and I still can't wrap my head around him being gone. 

We all say the same things, over and over I know but what else can we do. I do find when I've had a really good sob I feel a tab better... even if only for a short time. 

Hope and peace to all of us. We can be strong for those we loved. It's hard but I know we can and we all have each other on here to help along the way. 

xx

Some days are just harder than others aren’t they? I’ve given up trying to work out why and just go with the flow. Take care

Sending hugs

Jane

xx

Hi,

I still remember collecting Jerry’s Ashes it was very hard, because of corona we haven’t yet been able to scatter them.the main ashes are still out of sight. But  I had a glass orb garden ornament made with a few of his ashes inside,  It’s in his favourite place so I can sit in the garden and have coffee and chill with him like we always did. 

Thankyou all for your support.i still cant belief my wife has gone.life feels so empty now.She was the one person that listened to me and comforted me.i lost my mum when i was 11 years old so my wife was like my mum and wife all rolled into one if you know what i mean.