Does it really get easier

Hello Sunsarah

I lost my husband in October last year and I still cry at some point most days- today it was a record on the radio that used to be played at the disco we went to when we were first going out back in 1974! I don’t often manage to listen to the radio but miss having music playing in the background, so thought I’d give it a try. 
I think the Covid situation makes things harder. Everyone talking about who they’ll hug first next week.....the only person I want to hug is Chris, so much it hurts. 

Take things slowly if you are able, do what feels right for you and try hard to be kind to yourself. I’ve given up worrying about those days where the most I achieve is getting up, showered and dressed and remembering to eat at some point. Other days, I might achieve more- it’s about what works for me.

Sending virtual hugs

Jane

xx

Thankyou Jane 

you are so kind xx I think maybe as world opening up and seeing people we haven’t seen since hubby died also feels like bringing everything up all them firsts again hubby died 30/12 so  like you know it’s very early days xx I think a hug can very often just do what words can’t and that physical connection I need x I suppose I just can’t see a future without Keith hope you are ok x and looking after you x virtual hug Sarah xx 

Hi Sunsarah,

It will be exactly three years tomorrow since I lost my beloved Paul. And, even though I am still very sad most days and often have little cries, it has become easier over the months. I think this isn't the case for everyone though and that's absolutely fine too; grief is so different for everyone. I agree with Jane in saying that the smallest little things can be a trigger - like the sun coming through the window in a particular way or a record on the radio that reminds us - and we will always have those because there is so very much that we don't have anymore and would so much love to have back.

It's a pity that they were so insensitive towards you in work, or what felt very insensitive. They should really understand that you had to shield yourself while Keith was getting treatment, that's not very difficult to understand.

Hopefully with the days getting longer and us coming into the summer you will find it easier to develop a good daily routine and hopefully walks or exercise is possible too as this is really so important in order to keep our spirits up.

Lots of love, hang in there, it will get easider over time!

Mel

Today’s little trigger.... I went to the local nursery to get a shrub  I’d seen there earlier in the week but they had none left. It was called Little Red Robin so some of you will be aware why I wanted it so much. So I drive home, came into the house and cried! 

The strangest and most unexpected things that have this effect!

Sending hugs

Jane

xx

Thankyou for your reply Mel xx 

Hi Jane 

sending you a big hug xx 

Hello,

im sorry, it will be two years in June since Jerry died. For me , the  grief can be raw as it was at first,  just much fewer of those Days. Triggers are hard but you learn to accommodate them.  Your fight still there it’s getting you through this it’s just a MF of a mountain to climb xx 

Hi Jane.  Your last paragraph really resonated with me.  It's six months since my partner passed away from bowel cancer with massive liver secondaries and some others.  I find that if I can get up and have a shower that's a massive achievement.  As for remembering to eat, that's a whole other thing. Like you, some days I get a lot done but others not so much if anything at all.  It's reassuring to know that I'm doing the same as so many other people.  I sometimes feel like I'm weak if I can't do things, but coming back to this site has made me realise that it's normal.  Thank you.  Felicity.