How do you carry on?

Hi SuMB,

Sorry you feel like this, I feel the same please let me know what the answer is.

I too want Rob to be proud of me, at times I do things in preparation for him coming home, the cleaning the garden even shopping. Then remind myself he never coming home.

Sorry I no help, but I am here. 

Love 

Donna

Hello

So sorry to read that you’re feeling like this. I really don’t know what the answer is but there are people here who understand and empathise with you. We are all feeling the same. Like Donna, I still expect Chris to come walking in the room, to comment on my attempts to keep up to his beautiful garden, just to be here with me and for me. 

Try to be kind to yourself (I seem to be saying this a lot), take each hour as it comes, do what feels right for you- not what others tell you you should be doing. If getting out of bed and getting dressed is all you manage to do some days, don’t worry about it. It is painful, the most painful awful feeling we will ever experience. Hopefully we will learn to live with it. But remember there are people on this site who get it, we really do. And posting on here and reading what others kindly share has been so very supportive. 

Take care, sending hugs

Jane

xx

Hi SuMB 

We feel your pain because it’s ours too. 

I was just sitting here preparing to go up to bed thinking how I feel  my grief is getting harder instead of easier as time passes. 

Like Donna & Jane I feel David is coming back somehow. Or that this is a separation, like he’s somewhere being David and I’m missing out not being with him. I guess that’s our mind and bodies playing tricks on us to prevent the reality fully getting in maybe!? 

I do not look forward to anything anymore and fear my future without him. It’s a nightmare that I feel I’ll never wake up from. 
All I, you, Donna, Jane and all of us on here can do is one day at a time. As Jane says, trying to be kind to ourselves. We have to allow the tears, sadness and hopelessness we feel to exist! 
We all long for better days, days we can feel alive again holding our dearest soulmates close in our hearts as we move forward. 

When we will feel like that I cannot say. I just live in hope we all find that place one day. 

Much strength to us all and a big virtual hug! 
xx 

Hi all,

Thank you so much for your replies.

I have been thinking about posting something but really worried about taking the step.

However, it is a relief to find people who actually get how I feel...

Every time I do anything it feels as though it’s all wrong and is just a huge reminder. 

I find myself talking out loud and in my head to my beloved husband all the time. I keep thinking ok that’s long enough now I just need you to come back now  

I like you just don’t see a future because our soulmates are no longer standing here next to us...

I have never experienced such great sadness as I am now. I am totally distraught.

Thank you for your kind thoughts and I hope we can all give each other strength somehow...

I hope that you all manage some sleep.

Take care x

Hi, it will be 4 weeks this week since my husband passed - no funeral as postmortem is next week - I am absolutely heartbroken - Saturday was my birthday and I was sobbing most of the day - can't believe he is away - my thoughts are with you because I know how you feel.

Reading other people's feelings on this site does help.

Take care.

Hi

even a year on a part of me is still in denial and probably always will be. My head knows he won’t be coming back but the message doesn’t seem to be getting through to my heart.

The sadness is overwhelming at times but we carry on and have to live for them. My husband tried so hard to stay and would want me to try and make the best of things.

We all feel the same and that does help xx

I am only 2 weeks into this new life. Like all of you I cannot believe I will not see my husband again. The house is so empty. I am trying to get out each day and have good friends who keep me going. One upside is that people keep feeding me and it’s nice to have company. Just putting one foot in front of the other at the moment. 

Hello Butterfly6,

I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful husband. And I am glad you have joined this group here as we all here understand what you are going through. We have all lost our wonderful partners to this horrible disease and are struggling to find ourselves in this life after loss. Grief is a strange thing and experienced very differently by everyone.

Putting one foot in front of the other each day and each hour of every day is the only thing most of us can do in the early stages while our system is still adjusting to our new reality. It's great that you have good support, and here on this forum too.

Best wishes

Mel

Hi everyone,

Thank you for your thoughts and support.

I wondered whether anyone had had experience with counselling? I am not sure if this would be helpful or not?

To be honest I don’t know much at all at the moment... Just that there’s a gapping whole in every aspect of life now.

Take care x

I agree, I never want to move on as my husband will always be part of my life x