It’s been seven weeks and four days since I said goodbye to my soulmate. Now I’ve got to prepare to leave my home I feel bitter that Lesley didn’t want me to carry on with my life knowing she had changed her will after being diagnosed with cancer and keeping it from me. I don’t know why. I’m lonely and afraid with her in my mind all the time I’ve not been able come to terms with anything. I just feel I might as well not be here and join her I started to empty the garage and take it to my dads yesterday. What a awful feeling of how I’m going to manage without having Lesley
I just want it to be over to be honest. I’m a coward and don’t want to be in pain when I do it
it is getting stronger the feeling of doing it looking for ways isn’t easy with the betrayal and hurt that is building up inside. I don’t want sympathy but the laws in our world are wrong when you live with somebody and pay your whole time with them on the bills updating the house to improve the value without your partner putting a penny to it makes it sad it was my fault that I wasn’t on the deeds because I never thought Les wanted anything but for us to have it together. Little did I know. I would give anything for her to be here and the leaving of the house would be easy it’s only a house but it was what i shared with Lesley. Sorry to vent my frustrations with you all I how your having a better time than I at these sad places we’ve been thrown into. Mark
