After time..

It is eight years today since I lost my husband to the horror of cancer, and today seemed appropriate to put down how I feel after all this time:

We listened to the woodpecker once more

We watched the squirrel run up the tree

We hoped for the deer to come

For one final farewell

And then you were gone.

No more cutting the grass

No more cooking great meals

No more lazy summer days

No more Derek size drinks

What we have now are memories

Of the good and bad times

Of your laugh and humor

Of our holidays on our island

I found out things I should not have known

I found out you loved me still

I found out that alone is hell

Whatever you were, I wish you were here

You are talked about still

Your talent lives on

But I knew the man behind it all

Or wonder if I knew you at all

What I do know,

Is that I miss you more

Each day that flies past

And I know my love will last

I am not looking forward to seeing you again

for I do not want to leave

But if I must, then I shall choose

Whatever the pain, I choose you.