Another week gone

Hi Donna,

Gosh you’re only just 8 weeks in and you’ve done all that?? You need to give yourself a break and a huge medal for that level of achievement! I’m sure Rob would be proud.

I’m fully up to date with paperwork and am 14 weeks in. I got car serviced and MOT’d, booked a boiler service and cracking in doing jobs in the house that need doing. I also paid off mortgage today and shed a tear as Clive should have been here to celebrate that, but then if he was here we would still be paying it, can’t win. He’d be pleased ive done that though.

I think we’re all doing flipping amazing all things considered. And no I don’t much like this new life after, but I’m determined to find a way to enjoy all the little things as my amazing hubby has lost that chance.

Huge hugs.

Julie xx

Hello Donna

i would say that it sounds as if you’ve achieved quite a lot and I’m sure your Rob would be proud of you (although you probably don’t want to know that!) But well done to you.
I’m further along this awful path than you in time- it’s five months today since I lost my wonderful husband and I still cry every day- usually when I go to bed unless a song on the radio tips me over the edge. (This morning Ken Bruce played the third song we had at Chris’ funeral so that was a weepy moment!) I still have days where getting up, showered and dressed and eating seems like a huge achievement but have learnt to accept that. Other days I’m quite productive and manage to get a lot of things done. 

And how I wish I could live last year again and perhaps make different choices, like not cancelling our holiday in Norfolk because we were anxious about Covid. As it turns out, Covid was the least of our worries. 

Sending hugs 

Jane

xx

Hi Julie

Your post has just reminded me that the plumber has never got back to me about servicing the boiler! Must add it to the phone calls. 
Well done for all you’ve achieved. 
Hugs

Jane

xx

Thank you everyone,

So now what? I find the weekends worse, still got plenty to do, not sure what I will do when my list ends. But I do I feel motivated to do any of it? NO!! why bother ?

Nobody to see what I have done, nobody to encourage my efforts, nobody to help or just watch, no nobody to share a cuppa in the garden as we admire the freshly cut grass. So why bother ? because we have to, our loved ones would want us to. Do it for them.

Another cuppa and give myself a talking to, usual works.

Enjoy your weekend whatever it brings, be kind to your self.

Sending strength to everyone 

Love Donna x

Hi Donna,

I know its so hard to see the point in doing stuff now that we have nobody to look at it and say well done or whatever, nobody there to encourage us.

love Mel

Hi all xxx

I have done everything over the past year - cleared the house, garage, garden, dismantled 2 sheds, car service, MOT, arranged funeral, sorted insurance, remembered to eat,...the list goes on and it is endless, still so much more to do.

Most of it I did in the first 2 months. Then I slowed down and now I do things in fits and bursts - I can't sustain it. 

HOWEVER at least I have realised I am only appearing to cope - it does make things so much easier for everyone else to think you don't need them.

I am feeling okay about always missing him. It's the way it is. 

At the end of the day, I still feel the most fantastic time we had together when he was alive, outweighs this pain.

Still worth it !

Love to you all xx Sue

Hi there Sue and everyone,

If I am truly honest with myself I aren't coping, oh guess I am the best way I can. But also good at pretending. Tell people what they want to hear.

Doing all the chores like a robot, then sleep the afternoon away.

Not the life I hoped for or want.

Take care

Love Donna

Oh Donna 
I hear you but it’s such early days for us. I’m holding onto that. 
I know people on here still miss their partners after years, I know we will BUT I’m really trying hard to cling to the fact this awful brokenness we feel just now has to get more manageable with time. It has too...