What I’d give.....

Oh Jane, thinking of you. I feel it too. Sleep well for him! I’m dragging my feet going to bed tonight but I’ll go now and I’ll sleep for David. He still loves you lots and lots, nothing changes that. Xxx

Thank you. Hope you had a reasonable nights sleep.

Take care 

Jane

xx

Aww,  I hope you managed to sleep and that today is better.  I say goodnight to Beth and tell her love her and blow her a kiss every night before I go to sleep,  just like I always did.  It seems to help.   I also find myself dragging me feet and putting of going to bed,  I hate turning the lights off downstairs and heading to bed on my own.

Sadly not, quite fitful despite two sleeping pills (and half bottle of Prosecco )

I just read your bio and I too have been wanting to do something to help others in this situation somehow. Or indeed do something “good/worthwhile” I worked in Television for 20years  Since then I work for myself as a PA to people who need their lives organising. I’m good at it, I’m an organiser by heart which I think is partly way I’m struggling as I can’t organise this!!! My grief!! 
My clients have been wonderful and I’m only at part-time with this new business but now I really don’t know if I can go back to that!? 

I worked in IT and then academic libraries,  I focused a lot on user centered design of spaces and services.  Some of that can be found on https://carlbarrow.wordpress.com as well as some other more personal bits.  Like you, I want want to go to work knowing that I make a real difference, I'm not bothered what it pays!  I have thought about nursing and actually talked about that with Beth before she died,  she said I would be really good at it.  I've even applied for a few entry level nursing posts,  but even though you don't need to be qualified they do ask for experience of some kind in clinical care.  From next month I should be able to volunteer at the hospice where Beth was and I'm hoping that will help.  It will hopefully get me out doing something meaningful too.  

Hello all and especially Wheels because I haven't said hello to you yet and how sorry I am for your loss.

I am sorry you had such a bad night, Pineapple. Hopefully the next night is going to be better. You seem to like your Prosecco. I am more a white wine or gin and tonic person myself.

I so much resonate with you all when you say you want to do something to help others. I feel that my only purpose in being here after Paul's death is to do something to make other people's lives better. I am myself about how lovely it would be to start a career in nursing. What makes it difficult to do this, as I have explained here a couple of months ago, is the fact that I am visually impaired. But I don't let go of this idea or at least to be working in a hospital setting as complimentary therapist is something really really important as well.

Love Mel

Oh Wheels, I could have written the same thing, and probably have at some point, about dragging my feet and putting off going to bed. How I HATE having to turn the lights off, check the doors are locked and heading to bed on my own. It is consistently the worst part of the day. 
I do say goodnight etc to Chris every night but how I wish he was there to respond. 
I had a fitful nights sleep- but made it through to another day and the sun is shining here. Friday will be difficult- it marks 5 months since I lost him. But I’ve got plans to keep occupied which will hopefully help.

Take care and thank you 

xx

Nighttime is the worst part of the day. Even after all these months (it's been nearly two and a half years), I still can't sleep very well. Towards the end of Chris' life, he always awoke around 3am. Still, I wake up around 3am every morning. I miss him so. I talk to him a lot at night. It kinda helps. Just wish he could answer back.

Hi Martha, Jane 

I have tried to talk to Dave but I find it hard. I really don't know if it helps or hinders. If I think he can hear me it's like he's sat somewhere in his new world listening to me, hearing me and wanting to be with me and can't. That makes it worse. Maybe it's just too soon for me to do that. 

Jane I'm glad you have plans on Friday. That is good. Im finding it hard to accept help from family and friends. I seem to prefer to be alone.  I'm hoping that will change. xx