Life insurance... so what!

Hi Julie

I know the feeling so well.

I received John's death in service benefits a few weeks ago and although I will be secure financially I would give it back in a heartbeat to have him back.  It is just another part of the awful reality that he has 

I still have to return his work equipment, laptop and phone, which I keep putting off. It's another part of the closure, as if I'm leaving him behind.  

Its all still a huge struggle xx

Morning Julie

Couldn't agree more. I’d give every penny back if only he was still here with me. What hurts even more is that he used to say that he’d rather have me than the money and I used to tease him. But I hope he knew that I felt and feel exactly the same.

This is still just so very hard.

Jane

xx

Hi Julie,

I found this one of the hardest things to deal with and felt/feel so guilty.  It was so bitter sweet for me.  We always dreamed of what it would be like to pay off the mortgage which was 20 years away for us.  I paid it all off and also the debt we had.  I cried when I came out of the bank, it was so overwhelming.  I’m thankful that out of all the hideousness we’ve been though,  I can assure my two boys that we are financially okay,  we own the house and have no debt.  This has taken some worry away.  I know I would want my wife to be financially secure if the tables had been turned and she would want the same.  That said,   I’d give it all back this morning to have her here and like you, I’d happily take the tent!

Take care
xx

I’d rather take the tent too and I have never fancied camping! I always said I had to have a plug socket! 

Pete always said that I’d be alright if he died, but he had no intention of that, and I’m really not alright. 
I feel so guilty that money is not a worry, but it doesn’t mean anything when you’ve not got your soul mate to share it with

Amanda xx

With me,  my wife didn’t even know we’d be looked after.  We signed our life insurance documents when we bought our first house just so that we could get a mortgage.  We never told them she had cancer for fear of huge costs and thought that it would be void.  We never gave it a second thought.  It wasn’t until I phoned them to inform them of her death that they said ‘we’ll sort out the claim for you’.  When he told me how much cover we had I burst onto tears on the phone.  I just had no idea!  I then learnt that we could have claimed whilst my wife was still alive and she would have benefited.  I also had no idea her work had a life insurance policy too,  that was a complete surprise.   I just wish she knew about it all.  But exactly like you say,  without having your soul mate to share it with it means very little.  I'll make sure my boys have nice times and create new memories,  she would have wanted that.  

Thanks for your replies all of you, it’s comforting to know that we all feel the same. I guess it would make our partners happy to know that we will be okay financially so we just need to think of that. And like you say Wheels, making good memories is a lovely way to honour our lost loved ones. I am going to Cornwall in May just me and the dog, to a favourite village of ours that my hubby and I loved. We actually managed to go there in between lockdowns last year just a couple of months before he died. He was happy then and it was such a lovely time, so I hope I can just go back there and feel close to him and think of happier times.

Hugs to you all xxx

Hi Julie, 

I couldn't agree more with you, or the other posts on this thread. My husband had been married before and the policy was still being paid by his ex, but in his name. I turned it over to her, even though their children were grown. We had taken a separate policy out when we married, for a ridiculous amount, thinking there was no chance he would die first, given our age difference (not so great by today's standards, but pretty amazing in the 1990s). I paid the mortgage off years ago. So now we are all okay financially, but I would rather be supporting the two of us on a state pension than have this money. xxx