Play it again Sam.

Hello

I spotted an old episode of Four in a Bed which featured Swanage....heartbreaking to watch. We had some lovely holidays there. Sobbed when Kate Humble reached Scarborough too- a favourite day out for us and the one place Chris wanted to revisit but never made it. It hursts so much xx

I have recorded the Kate Humble walks and Julia Bradbury in Devon  and Cornwall but I can't watch any of them yet. We used to do a lot of walking so so many places hold memories. Whitby was one of our favourites. Xx

Exactly the same! We loved going to Devon and Cornwall and visited every year for the last 20 plus years, sometimes a few times a year when we could. Our last holiday was two weeks in Devon and Cornwall in September last year. We managed to get away in between lockdowns and it was just a couple of months before Clive died. He was still mobile but couldn’t walk far by then, but just to see him sitting on a bench enjoying an ice cream (couldn’t eat much by then), looking out to sea made my heart soar. It was the last time I saw him truly happy and it seemed to give him such a lift, two weeks without appointments, phone calls or talk about his cancer.

I have actually booked to go back to Polruan in Cornwall in May. It will be just me and our dog. I have no idea how I’ll cope driving there alone and waking around alone but I felt a strong urge to do it for Clive.  

If anyone is in the area 8-13 May you’re welcome to join me for a walk or a coffee xx

The music we played at Chris' memorial were "A Lark Ascending," Satie's "Gymnopedie 1" and Afro Celt Sound System's "Persistence of Memory." At the ash scattering, we played Simple Red's "Fairground" and Tedesci Trucks' "Midnight in Harlem." Chris and I loved to listen to music - all the time in every genre! When I need a good cry I listen to "As the Days Go By" (Sondheim), "With You" (from the musical "Ghost") and a long list of country songs (I'm originally from the States and we all know that a good sad country song can do it every time). 

Hi Owl58,

I have only just joined the group so didn’t see your post before.   I’ve been on my own (with my two boys) for almost six months,  it's very up and down and I'm just trying to make my way in this new world that makes little sense to me.  We always loved music and it’s helped me to be both sad and happy over the last few months.

We played three tracks at Beth’s funeral, although the playlist she created in the hospice had over 20! I had to make a choice.

Foo Fighters - 'Everlong' at the beginning https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxuTd9rwEHQ - the only song on Beth's list that she had for herself. 

George Esra - 'Only a human'  at the end - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vjcgJRd6uI The lyrics are explicit, but we loved the track and the four of sang it whilst driving through France on one of our adventures.  It's also exactly what Beth and I would say to the boys. 

Walk the moon – ‘Shut up and dance’  - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JCLY0Rlx6Q  as we left the grave. My 12(11 at the time) year old didn’t know were we playing the track. it was the track for him from Beth’s list. He broke down but he loved it.  We all danced to it at Disneyland in California.

I struggle to listen to any of them yet and have maybe managed 10 seconds of each.

A couple of songs got me through this winter,  for various reasons. 

Sam Fender – ‘Winter song’,  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92C7auMxer8   I just liked the lyrics and I really did feel like winter came howling in this year,  I always hate winter.

Maroon 5 – ‘Memories’ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SlPhMPnQ58k It makes me cry every time but for some reason makes me happy too.

Snow Patrol – ‘Chasing Cars’ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GemKqzILV4w Again,  makes me both happy and Sad.

Take care 

Carl

Thanks Martha and Wheels. Some I recognise but others are new to me. I have a lovely play list now.

Wheels - 6 months is still early as you have all the firsts to go through and it is so tough for you and your boys. I couldn’t do much more than get out of bed in the first 6 months. My thoughts are with you x 

Hello Wheels, 

A dear friend of mine, who has been caring for me remotely as she lives quite a distance away, sent me a link to the Maroon 5 song. I’d not heard it before but it is a beautiful song- but makes me tearful too. Another equally thoughtful friend sent me a video clip of a choir she sings in performing, remotely of course, You've Got a Friend to remind me she was there for me. Another weepy moment! But to be honest I find lots of songs have that effect on me, even songs that Chris didn’t like but I would sing along to in the car which amused him! 
A recent song that really gets me is Passenger and Sword from the Stone. The words of that first verse are just...well for those of us in this position. If I could put a link to it I would but I’m not that IT savvy, sorry! 
Take care

Jane

x

My beloved and I had such a wide choice of musical favourites but oh bless him he was no singer - once on a karaoke in Malta the lady turned it off as he was so bad. Nothing stopped him singing. 
On his last evening as we lay side by side I put the tv on and watched Breaking Dad with Bradley Walsh and his son Barney - the one where they had a private audience  with Andrea Botchelli. He sang Time to say Goodbye. Working on the assumption that it’s true that the hearing is the last thing to go I chose that song for my beloveds funeral. 
I knew though that he was the one for me all those years ago as our song was Klingons on the Starboard  side!!!!

June

Oh gosh Jane,  I had never heard the song before but Sword from the stone has just brought me to tears. The first words so connect, but for me, it’s the last words too.

I do find so many things make me tearful now. Beth always said I never showed emotion and that was bad for me! Sadly, it only took one thing the change that.  I actually think she would be proud. God, I miss her.

I’m most certain she would be proud. 
That missing, the ache, it’s so hard. Thinking of you, of all of you on here. 
Hope we all sleep well! Xxx