It’s the funeral today.

Hi June

You're right, nothing is normal when you join this club!

I can't relate to having a funeral as my husband didn't want a fuss and had a direct cremation as he wanted. I'm still not sure how I feel about that but I had to respect his wishes.

I'm glad you've got your dog with you, they are wonderful company. Mine has been my reason for getting out of bed in the 10 weeks since John died.

I hope the day goes as well as it can and that you have some good support. I'm thinking of you and sending a hug xx

You're right, nothing is normal anymore but we have to find a 'new normal' and adjust our new existence. Outside of our bubble (not covid bubble) the world keeps turning and we can't stop or go back in time. Hold your head up and be proud today, I know it's scary but can do this xx 

Hello June

I hope the day went as well as it could and that you had some support. . To be honest, I can’t remember much about the actual service but I do know I wasn’t as strong as I’d hoped I could be. 
You’re quite right in that nothing seems normal any more- almost twenty weeks on, I still feel that this life I’m leading belongs to someone else.

Sending you a virtual hug

x

I hope the day went ok for you. Horrendous at the best of times but a Covid funeral just makes everything worse. I just felt numb during the whole thing and broke down when I got home. We had the service recorded and I’ve watched it back several times but it doesn’t feel any less surreal. It was a lovely service but it felt like it was someone else’s. 

Nornal takes on a whole new meaning now. 

Take care, you’re stronger than you think xx 

Hi wills6

thinking of you big virtual hug xx 

Hello everyone and thank you so much for your words of guidance and comfort.

There were ten people at the funeral which seemed just right but about forty people from our village stood outside their homes and clapped as we went past. That was so moving. The youngest was our  great niece aged eleven who adored her uncle - she was very brave. There was only my flowers as requested and my friend is doing a fund raiser for Macmillan. 

Today I’ve hit a bit of a wall so I’ve  had another day under the covers but I’ll get out tomorrow I’m sure. It’s only three weeks today since he died.

Are you all ok? I’ll try to come on site and keep contact with you all.

June x

Hello June

Don’t worry about your day under the covers- you should do whatever you need to do to get through this traumatic time. It’s early days for you. it sounds as if the funeral went as well as things could. How lovely of friends from the village to show their respect and care. 
Today marks 20 weeks since I lost my husband of 44 years. I can’t believe I’ve been without him by my side for 140 days- Mondays are always hard for me, I find myself clock watching all day. 
Please do stay on the site- you’ll find the support from others really valuable especially on the more difficult days. 
Take care, sending hugs

Jane

x

As Kennickiesmum has just said, don’t worry about the duvet day. Do whatever needs to be done to get through the day right now. I’ve yet to have a day like that but it will come - probably later on this month on what was to be the day we were supposed to be getting married (it wouldn’t have happened anyway cos of Covid but it’s still a date I need to put behind me). 

The funeral sounds like it went well. We had the town turn out for Gary’s cortège and the clapping is something I’ll never forget. 

Now the funeral is over you can start to see to the official stuff and the phone calls. I was actually glad to have that to do because it gave me focus and distracted me. I’d advise you to do it in small bursts though. Totally overwhelming if you take on too much at once. I found people were lovely on the phone and just wanted to help. 

Take it a day at a time, it’s all we can do right now.

Hugs,

Peigi xx 

Hello June 

The lovely people on this site have already messaged saying a lot of what I’d say to you too but still wanted to reply so you know I’m here too.

Definitely do whatever you need to do each day, under the duvet if that’s what you need right now. There’s no wrong or right way I’m learning fast, so just ‘be’. 

Keep on here. We’re all here to help each other. I wish we were all in a room together and able to hug each other but it still comes through on here. 

I think a lot of us feel, definitely at the start that even close family & friends can’t bring us comfort right away but all of us on here can because we all have that same intense pain. 

Xx