Thankyou

Oh bless you. That feeling of vulnerability is just the pits isn’t it. Your strength will return and you will take things in your stride again. It all just takes time. Getting out of the house and meeting up with friends is a great start. Now that the weather is picking up and looking a bit more spring-like that should be easier to do. 
I’m at the same stage as you roughly. I lost my husband Gary on Christmas Day after a 15 month battle with the evil bastard that is oesophageal cancer. My way of coping has been to try to redress 15 months of self neglect and try to get fit again, lose the excess weight I’d piled on and cut out all the rubbish I’d been eating. It definitely helps and the dog loves me for it because she’s getting lots of walks. 
Carry on getting out and about and communicating with good friends and family (or as much as you can during present circumstances). Things will get easier. You’re stronger than you think xx 

Its a horrid feeling. And those firsts don’t stop with the significant dates either, do they? The first time I went to the supermarket just shopping for me was awful. It was the shelf full of Frosties that tipped me over the edge- do you know how hard it was to get Frosties through the start of lockdown?? And I’m quite relieved that I can only see one friend at a time for those socially distanced walks- I’m really not sure how I’ll cope with seeing my usual groups of friends all at the same time. I’m expecting to sob at some point. Luckily they all know to bring tissues. There’s a big part of me dreading the end of lockdown and restrictions and all that it means. 
Maybe by June I’ll feel differently but by then it will be coming close to the anniversary of C’s original diagnosis and my life starting to unravel.

Sorry for my rambling- Monday’s are never good for me. 
Virtual hugs

x

I think we all struggle with the anxiety of getting back out into the ‘normal’ world after losing our loved ones. I know I do. I’ve always been pretty confident and independent but this has knocked me hugely. Like a lot of you I have been getting out a little and having the odd socially distanced meet up with a friend, but meeting with groups in future also makes me anxious, which is a new concept for me, something I’ve never really suffered with. I guess it’s the worry about having to talk about it all over again, or seeing the sympathy in their eyes.

Shops are also tough for me, but as I still have my husbands priority delivery shop I am using that instead to avoid having to go out to shops whenever possible.

One day at a time for all of us x

Hi ladies sending you all a virtual hug