How do you cope my friend's?

Since losing  THE LOVE OF MY LIFE Purple heart

I've found a few  ' come and go ' coping methods. BUT what are yours :- 

  • Hi Geoff999,

    Im only 10 weeks in so to be honest I have no idea! I’m still trying to find my own way. I’ve tried ‘grief meditation’, yoga, reading books on grief or watching programmes or YouTube clips on grief, staying in touch with friends and family and now going back to work on a phased return. Not sure any of it makes me feel any better.

    I do seem to have become a bit like Forrest Gump by just walking and walking, with no destination or purpose in mind. I guess I just don’t know what else to do. It does allow me to think and clear my head a little and I guess is good for me physically anyway.

    I guess really all we can do is face each new day and try to get through this hell until hopefully one day it becomes a little easier and a little less painful.


  • Morning. Some days I don’t feel I have any coping methods but generally I take each day an hour at a time, if I manage to think of longer time slots, then I feel quite proud of myself. I try to be kind to myself- so those hard jobs, which in the early days were the official stuff, I spread out and don’t spend all day tackling them . There are still hard jobs, things that C took care of- everything from looking after the garden to washing the car! That makes it sound as if we were a traditional couple- we weren’t! So again, I’m spreading them out, tackling them when I feel able. 
    Not sure if that’s any help, but it’s given me food for thought


  • Hi Geoff999 

    The only thing I have found is to keep myself so busy that I haven't any time to think ,it is the night times when I stop that I find harder but sometimes it good to just have a cry then start all over again 

  • Hi Geoff this will probably get a lot of replys but here goes I still have not got a lot better even almost 19 months on every morning I wake up is hard to not cry I do see a medium who is very good and I belive does contact my wife as I have signs from her lots of people don't belive this can happen but if it helps why not hope it helps some people

  • 10 months today since my wonderful husband passed, it’s still painful. I still have the weight on my chest and feelings of panic. Deep breathing and pushing my feet into the floor help. I do exercise classes more for my mental health than anything.

    I’ve got an open mind about an afterlife, I’d love to believe there is one and I’ve had experiences that are hard to explain but others tell me that your mind plays tricks on you and that no one has ever come back yet.

    I’m not religious either but I’ve seen how having a belief can bring comfort and that must be nice.

    I think whatever helps you get by is ok with me 


  • I’ve just had a message that a word in my post has alerted the moderators, what could it be? Panic?

  • Thanks for your replysausagedog1 I to am not religious and did not think about afterlife but the things I was told hard not to belive and no one has ever proved it doesn't exist 

  • Hi Sausagedog

    There is so much evidence out there from people who've had near full death experiences plus other matters which conclusively show that when we pass over there is another plane of existance our souls enter into. Non of this has anything to do with religion. Its a fact of our Cosmic existance. From a scientific approach  Quantum mechanics shows that what human kind once thought was fact is in fact not fact at all. And I believe it will be through this media that most people will eventually ' Get it '  As an aside look up on YouTube a video by a heart surgeon called  Dr.  Lloyd Rudy. entitled Near Death Experiences. 

    At the end of all our journeying will be to find ourselves back where we started knowing the place for the first time. TS ELIOT.