Bumped into someone I knew but hadn’t seen for a while. She asked me if I missed him. I smiled at her and said all the time. She then pursued this with times she remembered him which probably came to about 4 or 5 times in his life. It was nice to see her and it was nice to talk about him. Walking home in the snow I thought about that question did I miss him. It has been 15 months. No one brings me a cup of tea in the morning. When I’m watching good morning Britain he isn’t there to say turn that shit off. I have to scrape my own car of ice to get it out of the drive. I have to put the bins out and never get it right. There’s no point in cooking a Sunday lunch. I tell the dogs the bits I find interesting in the news. They don’t care. I don’t get woken up with snoring. I don’t have to listen to his music. I don’t have to put the toilet seat down. His arms are not going to wrap around me at night I’m never going to hear his silly jokes. I could go on. But I do get up every morning (thanks to my two labs) and I do get on with my day and my new life within the confines of lockdown. I talk to people when walking the dogs and keep in touch with family and friends via text etc. Do I miss him. God yes. But it will be spring soon and we go on.
