AFTER 18 MONTHS

Hi Geoff999

Your post has definitely made me think about my husband ,we think alot about what we have lost loosing the love of our lives but I forgot how hard it must of been for Neil and how strong he had been knowing everything he would loose when he passed away not seeing his kids getting married not growing old with me he was always sorry for me thinking how I would be after .he only once said he was scared .

To know that you are going to die and being able to accept it makes our partners so strong               I find writing my thoughts down ether on paper or on here helps me not let them play on my mind i am glad you were able to stop yourself from doing anything bad

Thinking of you kate 

My friend Kate. I hope the thinking my post appeared to have  inspired gives you greater peaceful feelings. Our lost souls are the true heros. x

Such beautiful words. I have always been grateful for the love of my devoted husband, but ever more so now I have been left alone.

My amazing hubby never talked about the fact he was dying, everyone deals with it differently I guess. Even though we had been told his stomach cancer was incurable, all he ever talked about was his next lot of chemo or whatever he needed to  keep going. He endured dramatic weight loss, stents to keep his kidneys going, blood clots in his lungs and finally a bowel blockage that finally took him from us. But even the day before he died he was going into hospital for another procedure to try and keep him going. Luckily he suffered no pain in the end and passed away peacefully, even though sadly it was in hospital without us with him (I think that was his plan). He died just over 6 weeks ago at the age of 52. 

He will forever be my inspiration and although my heart is broken, I am currently broken and will miss him every day for the rest of my life, the love we shared will hopefully keep me warm at night and our amazing life jam packed full of fun and adventure will hopefully keep me going into the future. Perhaps one day I will even smile again and be able to find a way to enjoy life.

This is such a beautiful post. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. You can be proud of your Anne But also proud of yourself and how you have been handling things

Thank you everyone for your loving   and very heart felt responses including your bravery in sharing your most treasured memories and feeling's 

Oh Geoff999, your post had me in tears. For your wife to state, 'Well I've been given my death sentence' hit me hard and I could visualise you in tears and your wife next to you in the car. . .

I can only begin to understand how my wife felt as she faced disappointment after disappointment when treatments failed to work and physical changes (some dreadful) led to more challenges and ever more difficulties to surmount. We (I?) remained positive throughout, expecting a way forward to be found and concentrating on the next hurdle. We were not prepared for the end, despite every setback - unbelievable really.

For you to experience your grief attack after 18 months and let that be known, is really helpful - I wonder when and if I will be hit in such a way? My wife's ending was traumatic, painful and lengthy; I have much that I want to talk through with others over her final months and I'm finding it difficult to 'get past' this, in the grief I feel for my wife. I have many regrets, looking back - we concentrated on the treatments and possible ways forward rather than the alternative. . . 

Thank you for posting; your post is more than a healing process for you -  it might very well help me be more prepared for my responses in the future. I'm pleased and reassured you found some temporary healing.

Thank you Frank.

If my post even provides the smallest amount of help and comfort to you I know it was well worth sharing my friend. Take care. And Im always open to private messages if you need to chat further. 

Geoff