Lost

Hi Sunsarah

Thats what we are here for. If you can’t talk to anyone else talk to us, we’re all going through similar stuff. My husband died just over 5 weeks ago now. Yes the official stuff is miserable and I’ve still not even been able to do it all yet as I am yet to receive death certificates (delayed due to post mortem and rubbish postal service). Don’t push yourself to do this, you have time.

Im glad you found it okay seeing your husband, hopefully it gave you some peace. I saw mine just after he died in hospital but I didn’t go back to see him in the chapel of rest as I felt I had said goodbye. It’s a personal thing for sure.

I hope the funeral goes as well as it can, especially under current circumstances making it all the more difficult. I had my husband’s a week ago, bloody hard but we got through it. I spiralled a bit after that, was at my lowest for a few days as just felt so final, but to be expected I suppose.

We will have up and down days for a long time to come but as long as we keep going that is all we can ask of ourselves right now. Sending a big virtual hug x

Hi Sunsarah 

We are all going through similar things in this group, so you can always talk on here.

I wake at 4am every morning after very little sleep, too much time to think. I agree the loneliness is agonising and the pain is a physical one.

Do the official stuff in small chunks, it really is draining. Some days I can't face doing any of it, others I can do a couple of hours.

It's just over 3 weeks since I lost my husband. Every day is a struggle but I try not to think of more than today, that's all I can do at the moment. Life seems so scary now.

I hope tomorrow goes as well as can expected for you, we will be here for you if you want to chat.

Take care  x

Good sometimes I wish I could meet up with you guys! You really do help keep me going! I’m having a rough day today and just want to stay in bed and hide away. But just knowing that others are feeling the same as me almost gives me the drive to keep going, despite it feeling pointless carrying on without my husband.

Same here Bramblejoo, I feel the only people who really understand are on here.

Having another bad day myself. My daughter has been staying with me since my husband died but I I think I will tell her she can go home today. I dont want to get dependent on her, I need to get used to being on my own. But I am terrified....even though I know I will be ok as I've lived on my own in the past.

Just the way my brain is working at the moment I guess.

Hello Sunsarah

i couldn’t agree more with what others have said. This group is such a support, sharing thoughts and feelings with people going through similar stuff. I agree about pacing yourself to do the official stuff- it’s so draining and I had a complete meltdown after trying to be efficient and get lots done in one day. After that I only tackled one or two each morning, which helped a little. 

It’s almost three months for me and I still have days where I want to hide away- restrictions and the foul weather make it very easy. I’ve had to make myself do things that involve others, even if it’s virtual contact. 

I'm sleeping a little better- but only by delaying going to bed until I’m almost asleep on my feet. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve contacted my son in America in the early hours because the time difference means it’s evening time for him. Small blessings.

Virtual hugs to all of you xx

Thankyou everyone  I feel like nobody understands except you guys on here i will take my time with things as think I am putting pressure on myself I just want to reach out and give you all a hug Thankyou for your support xxx

Just catching up with the Board today and I can only agree with everything the others are saying. I lost Gary just over 3 weeks ago and some days are ok but some days are just crap and other days I don’t know whether I’m coming or going. Keeping busy has helped me and I agree that official stuff should be done in bite sized chunks. I attempt to do 2/3 things every day (except weekends) and feel really chuffed with myself when I achieve these wee goals. I also find everyone on the other end of the phone really helpful and kind which helps. 
Keep posting and chatting on here and we’ll get each other through this because we’re the only ones that can truly understand how raw and bewildering this vile situation is. 
Solidarity  xx 

Big hugs to you all. Sorry I can’t give you proper ones although I’m sure you all live miles away anyway! X