Future decisions, too soon?

Hi bramlejoo, 

Its difficult making decisions whilst grieving isn't it. So sorry to hear of you loss, your husband was so young.  I lost my husband of 47 years in August.  It broke me into so many little pieces. He was 76, im 10 younger,  i still do a few hours work a week, i went back in November.  I also help with looking after our grandchildren which ive always done, they keep me going. I know what you mean , its finding a balance isn't it. The first couple of months i couldn't do anything not even the grandkids,  i found i was getting more  and more depressed,  im on medication.  But  i find my little job helps. Take care  xx

Hi

it sounds as if you’ve made your mind up, but isn’t it hard making decisions by yourself? 
I had already submitted my forms for my retirement, something we’d planned for with my husband to retire in the next couple of years, but not meant to be

I went part time after I had my second daughter, reduced to 22 hours and was still doing the same 25 years later! That was a lovely work life balance.

I sometimes wish I was still at work but don’t know if I could cope with the responsibility now. I have been accepted as a volunteer ward companion at our local hospice, but not been able to start yet due to COVID. 
This disease is so cruel robbing us of our loved ones, we have to go on with them in our hearts x 

Thank you for your comments, you’re right that these decisions are so difficult, particularly when we’re trying to just grieve for our lost loved ones. And it’s just me living alone so I need to get it right for me. At the moment I don’t even know when the right time is to go back. I am hoping I will know when it’s the right time.

Bluebell53 I hope that things get easier for you in time and you find you can cope without medication at some stage in the future.

Sausagedog1 that is such a good thing to do to help at a hospice and I really hope you find it worthwhile for you once you’re able to start.

x

No one ever looks back and wishes they spent more time at work..

My suggestion is go back on shorter hours and see how it fits, if it fits well and is affordable then stay with it.. 

Thanks so much mccmcc, I think that’s what I’ll do. Still need to work out where I stand financially but if it’s possible I’m gonna do it. I’m sure my hubby would approve also

I was fortunate enough with my company to be given most of 2020 off to care for my girlfriend before she passed away. I came back into work on a staged return for the first week but I found it better to jump back in after the first week. I’ve only had one hiccup of a day in the past three months. If you have good people around you and enjoy your work I think it is best to embrace it. But then I am 26, and everyone is different. Maybe ask to trial working at reduced hours before you decide for definite.

Oh god Callum you’re so young and your girlfriend was so young! I’m so sorry you’ve been robbed of such time together, but amazing that you were able to care for her for all that time,you must be an amazing guy.

Yes that is a great suggestion and one I had thought of. I’m probably going to try a phased return for first two weeks then request a 6 month trial on reduced hours and see how we go. They operate flexi time so if I need to bump up hours I can just take the time off which id prefer to the money, and they can pay me a bit less so it’s win win I guess.

I hope you are coping well after your loss x