Dealing with my loss

Hi so sorry for your loss, and it is early days for you.

You will get a lot of support from this group. as you say what are you trying to gain, quiet a lot really.

No one can truly understand  what it is like to loss the other half of them but every one here does that is the difference,

My children lost their dad, but i lost the other part of me cut in half.

I did not know who ellie was on her own was always ellie and tom. i was lost, did not realise what i may be capable of and loads more but i have got to 14 months without him and i really do not know how.

This group got me threw so much when different emotions reared their ugly head.

At times i thought i was going crazy, anger appeared from where i do not know and i was anger at the one person that had no choice in leaving me

I was sad, could not eat, scared, tearful and many more.

I now eat i still shed a tear but not all the time, though i did yesterday and at times you do not even realise where they are coming from and over nothing, something just hits home, reality 

Use this group always some one that is or has been going threw what you may be feeling at that moment in time,

Take Care Ellie x

Hi Eemily,

Firstly I am so sorry for the loss of your partner. You have clearly done amazingly well to get this far and as you say perhaps you were in shock initially and almost on autopilot.

I am just two weeks in. My husband (52) died on 10 December after a year long fight with stomach cancer. Even at the end he never gave up in his head, still having treatment, just his poor body was too weak in the end.

I cry on and off but feel almost like I’m coping too well, so I do wonder if it will hit me like a tonne of bricks somewhere further down the line. We still have his funeral in a couple of weeks and I guess maybe after that reality will start to sink in. At the moment I guess I’m hiding away a lot at my stepdaughters house, almost pretending it’s not happening.

I just wanted to share that really and to say you’re not alone. I miss my hubby dreadfully and find the nights are the worst when I get into our big bed all alone and don’t have him there to cuddle up to and just talks to and be silly with.

Ive lost a part of me forever x

So sorry to read this. I lost my husband of 44 years almost 10 weeks ago less than 3 months after diagnosis. I agree with others who've said that it is impossible for others to know what it is like to lose half of yourself. Reading the thoughts of others here who are in a similar position is helping me to work my way through this awful time. I'm not sure I will ever be the person I was, but at the moment I'm doing my best to get through each day, often just an hour at a time. Take care 

Thank you. I agree, I don’t know who I am on my own. I feel like I am having to start again and yet I’m not ready too. I know there will be a  time when I do know. J would have wanted that for me; something that is giving me strength. 

I am so very sorry. I felt like that too. I questioned myself on why I wasn’t crying every hour of the day in the first few weeks. Now is slightly different and I didn’t see it coming. It has been 3weeks after the funeral for me and reality of her not ever coming back has hit. 

thank you for sharing - it does help. 

thank you for replying and I feel the rawness with you. I think I’m expecting someone to give me a timeline on when things start to get easier. I’m rushing my own thoughts, because the pain is so deep and I want her back so then this pain can go away. 

Every hour is different too- I can’t seem to predict any of it . 

thank you 

Hi there...I know what you mean “I’m coping too well, so I do wonder if it will hit me like a tonne of bricks somewhere further down the line”. First weeks after my husband died, actually first months after he died I felt like that too, asking myself why i was not feeling the blinding pain everybody kept talking bout. I learned later that was my mechanism of protection, my way to cope with everything, my emergency mode if you will. Detaching myself from the raw emotion I was able to perform all the tasks that were required from me at the time. It is not a bad thing and you will not be “punished” down the line for it. You will feel the pain when you are ready to to deal with it and or won’t be like a tsunami that will drawn you but it will come in waves. Stay strong and yes, you have lost your partner  but you are still here and you will go thought this, I promise you. 

Hi there

yes, we want someone to tell us when this is going to end...I lost my husband four years ago so I guess I can say something about time passing or time healing. It does get easier, the blinding pain become a dull ache that comes and goes with no much logic to it. When is difficult to say...it doesn’t happen suddenly, you just notice periods were you don’t think about what happened all the time, when grief is not with you every moment of your day...you have moments of peace, or joy that get longer as time goes by until one day you realise there is life beyond your loss. Even now I still have moments when the pain reappears with such sharpness, like a stab in my chest. Coming from nowhere like sniper waiting for me to lower my guard...but it doesn’t last long, it goes as sudden as it comes. Don’t rush anything and stay strong, this shall pass.