Christmas day

15 days without my string man. I’m taking a deep breath and doing my best to get through today without him.

Thinking of you all xx

Ric died a year ago in 3 days time. It is strange just being home with my children but it has been peaceful and a couple of laughs still.

I hope everyone has a good day despite everything.

Happy Christmas

Love and hugs Alison xxx

This is my second Xmas without my wife it is no easier just I can now put on my happy face more convincingly but deep down still miss her giggles with the grandkids

Doesn’t feel like Christmas Day somehow.  Something’s missing.  My Lynn is gone, what’s left of me is a tiny slither of my former self.  Last Christmas wasn’t great as she was so sick.  

Well we have got threw the day the best we can and how we wanted to spend it, i went to my daughters for four hours it was very nice, but i wanted and needed to be in our home, the one we both lived in for a long time, with so many memories, and they where good memories and i have been reflecting on many of them.

I have had a few giggles a few tears where  shed when i opened a present from my eldest Grandson, A memory Box with my husbands name 

Tom' Memory Box

Forever in my Heart.

I have collected some of his things, his watch, first driving licence, the receipt for which t my engagement ring, i never knew he still had it, bought in 1964 kept it all this time bless him.

Tomorrow is another day, and we all will get threw that one as well.

Take Care Elliex

I started the day trying to be positive, family calling on the phone and I was attempting to be a bit more "normal" I suppose. I went to my sister in laws for dinner today with my mother in law and it was good to be around people. I'm currently staying with my mother in law, who is really lovely. We gave up our rental property to come down after the diagnosis so we could be closer to my husband's family. It's now kind of hit me like a ton of bricks that I'll need to figure out what I'm going to do and where I'm going to live. We kind of lived the nomadic lifestyle, so nowhere feels like home anymore. Wherever my husband was, was home.

I'm so very lost. I'm going to be all by myself.

It is actually so much worse when I get hugs from the people in my bubble. I seem to cling to them like a life raft, but I'm just so used to being hugged all the time by my husband that it hurts so much more realising it's never going to happen again.

I miss him so much. 

Hi Yvie79,

I know what you mean about the hugs. I’ve been hugging my stepdaughter a lot to help get each other through this (she was so close to her dad), but that’s not the same. I have her and her husband and my grandson, as well as my own family (not that I can see or hug them yet), but that will never fill the gaping hole that is now the n my life. I miss hugging my husband, kissing him, snuggling up to him in bed at night. I’m  46 and now living alone with no idea what to do with the rest of my life.

I am thinking of you and everyone else who now has to go to bed at night with their loved ones to cuddle up to x

I’m pleased you had a nice time at your Daughters yesterday.  My son is home from university so it was just him and me for dinner.   At bed time I took Lynn’s favourite fluffy red pyjamas and held them close in bed, that way she felt near me.  It’s the conversation and laughs I miss with Lynn especially in the evening, pouring her glasses of wine chatting about nothing important.  Now just silence.  Although my dog is a blessing she helps more than she knows.

Take care 

Peter x

Thank you for all your support. The comments about missing the hugs are so very true. I would give anything for a hug from my husband. Getting into that cold lonely bed is so very hard, I hate it. And I can't stay in bed in a morning either- since we both retired, my husband would get up and bring me a cup of tea, then we'd lie in bed and plan our day. Simple pleasures but missed so very much. 

Take care all