Physical symptoms of grief?

Dear Kernowp

You are describing the same symptoms I experienced, and every now and again still do, after losing my dear  wife Anne 17months again. We were married 50yrs. Dizziness was a real problem, specially when I went out walking, and showering at home meant I had to hold onto the grab rail as I felt I could faint anytime. I even had to stop driving as any swift turn of my head whilst checking other traffic sent me whoozy.  And you mention nausea. Yes I've had that too. Not wanting to eat and even now food means nothing to me. I just eat because I'm hungry and so have to. And yes pain, specially in the back, across my shoulders and chest. I wonder if you to can relate to anything I've said?  All these symptoms are grief related. They match the unbearable sadness we are suffering, mentally and emotionally. I believe in many  cases they are anxiety attacks - specially when the heart starts racing as well. I can empathise with you fully my friend. We are are all on this site suffering unimaginable loss. The only help I can give is that as time passes these awful feelings subside and kick in far less often. Cry as much as you feel; let it all out for at times I howl like a wolf whist the tears flow uncontrollably. This is very therapeutic and necessary. Take good care of yourself. 

Geoff x

Hi Geoff, so sorry to hear that you lost your dear wife Anne, I know how hard it is to lose someone we loved so much.

My goodness your description of your symptoms sound identical to mine, especially the dizziness. It certainly helps to know I’m not imagining it or going potty. I was eating because I had to, no joy in preparing & cooking for one. Since the onset of the nausea I’ve stuck to soup, omelette & light meals. I could drink tea for England. My GP told me to rest! I can’t do much else, I daren’t drive & even walking around the house I m feeling like a jelly inside, the room doesn’t spin but I feel like I do.

I have cried & cried, begged my husband to come back ( I know he can’t & he certainly didn’t choose to leave). Every little thing can trigger a memory & the tears flow again. It’s a good job my neighbour is deaf or he’d wonder why I’m sobbing & howling. 

I feel very alone with all this in the past 2 years I’ve lost my wonderful husband, my kind brother in law, my very best friend & my only cousin. All from cancer & 3 from negligence in the same hospital. 

I wish you well, & thank you for your kind reply. 

Dear Geoff & Kernowp,  my physical symptoms are an ache in the chest that arrived the moment my wife Lynn died in February.  It feels like a broken heart to me.   
After 9 months my counsellor persuaded me giving up my wife’s medication would be a good idea so I have albeit reluctantly.   
Take care both of you.

Hi all, I have the ache in my chest. I lost the love of my life 8 days ago. I physically aches for him and feel sick all the time. I love my amazing hubby more than life itself so yes I think the pain is my broken heart. I guess these pains don’t just go because our loved ones have left us. Grief lasts a lifetime as does true love ️ 

Hi Jebel &bramblejoo, so sorry that you have also lost loved ones.

It’s very new for you bramblejoo, you must feel numb & lost? Like you I loved my husband more than life itself. I quite simply go hour by hour, I can’t look beyond that. I cry constantly & miss all the little things about my wonderful husband....we were married for a week short of 38 years, the only time we were apart during that time was the 13 horrific days he was in hospital before we fought to get him home to care for him in his last days. He passed peacefully in my arms.  

I’m dreading Christmas, all the jollity is too much to bear.

Im convinced that a broken heart is a physical pain. 

Take care of yourselves xxx

It has been 17 months since I kissed my husband and said goodbye as he took his final breath, and everyday since has been a battle!. He was so happy that he got to meet his grandaughter and just like you both my sons were worried for me. But I knew I had to be strong for them! So nobody ever saw me crying. But when alone it was a waterfall an yes  the pain is real! The tightening of the chest the fast heart rate feeling like you could pass out. At the start of the year I really felt like I was making progress planned to brave the shave in April for his birthday then lockdown happened!  Was furloughed an spent 4 months alone. I still  braved the shave (which I know he would be proud of an laughed at alot)  but this year i just feel like Christmas is another day. I haven't had the heart to put the decorations or tree  up. But I believe it will get easier  x

Dear Kernowp my heart goes out to you at this time as 17 months ago I lost my darling wife we were married 20 years and like yourself and your husband we were never apart we even worked together all I can say is hang in there I still break my heart when I think about my darling Pat which is everyday and like yourself I’m alone (apart from my wonderful border collie Glen) I too am suffering from lack of sleep just keep going and there is always someone to talk to in this group take care 

Hi Cliff, my heart goes out to you. Sending you a virtual hug at this incredible hard time of the year, although like me, I expect every day is hard, Take care 

Thank you Kernowp for your reply I won’t say merry Christmas I will just say make Christmas what you want it to be you take care too and hope to talk to you again soon  Cliff