Thought i was ok

Hi Joysue 

It will be 8 months for me on the 19th and I still have these times. I think it seems to come in waves and it suddenly hits you. I couldn’t sleep at all last night, read a book for most of it! 
I’ve come to the conclusion that the longing for your other half will never go away. 
I went a walk with a friend today and she said ‘you’re not very jolly’, I felt like telling her to F off but I didn’t. I don’t want to drive everyone away. I feel that some people seem to expect me to have got over it now. I never will, but only people that have been through it understand that. 
I have a dog, he’s 13, and an absolute godsend. No judgement, always the same and so loving, it does help. There are always rescue dogs needing a home if you don’t feel up to having a puppy. 
Hope you feel better soon, I’m sure you will xx

Hi there,

It's over two years for me and it still is like that for me. I have come to realise that this is how it is and I cannot see it changing.

I hope you will feel better soon. XXX

It’s just over two years on the 9 November for me, like your self when I lost my wife I cried and cried but it got better as the months went on, then 12 months on I would. break down and cry whist out walking or. Just sitting, however, .  It shows we care! Be proud of the fact that we did, don’t be scared of opening out that out loud and clear.  We have to be proud that we cared so much, so don’t MOVE on, move forward.   Best wishes and hugs and take it easy on yourself.

Thanks for the kind words i feel better knowing its not just me who feels like that,i think tjis time of year doesnt help cos everyones happy but you feel misrable, im going to try to have a good xmas for my kids and grandkids and my Wal would go mad if he seen me upset take care Xx

Hope it’s ok my joining this group - suggest by moderator but it was my little sister I list 3 months ago, not my spouse. But Sue was my childhood companion, like a twin. 

in the morning I wake and don’t want to be here. Then I manage to let myself cry... and a little of the distress floats away. But often I think something is wrong with me, to cry so much...? I lost my mum in July, it was a relief in a way, but - she was my mum!

im trying to convince myself that crying is ok, it’s healing, it’s natural, it’s because we’ve lost part of ourselves, it’s because we loved another soul. Yes. 

Hi Sues, you cry as many tears as it takes, your loss is as important as anyone else’s.  We all came here because we are/ were hurting and we needed to talk to others in the same position  so welcome and I hope and know that things will get better as time passes, we don’t forget, but the memories make us smile instead of cry. 

Joysue, one thing I just wanted to say in case it helps, just try and remember that a smile can hide so much of what is really going on in someone’s life. So when you may next be out and about and see what you think are lots of happy people, you would be surprised how many of those really aren’t happy at all and have their own personal struggles. We are all just trying to muddle through life.

I lost the love of my life and best friend 8 days ago. Love and grief lasts a lifetime so I don’t expect to ever get over losing him, nor do I want to. But I do hope and I guess know that one day I will be able to smile again and the smile actually reach my eyes and heart. We are the one’s left behind and owe it to our loved ones to carry in living life for ourselves as well as them who no longer get to do that. 
x

Thank you so much, that is a beautiful way to put it! I will keep coming back to those words, and thank you for connecting with me!

Hi 19 months for me the raw pain has eased a little but still tearfull a lot of the time I think it is something that you have to live with some days OK others  painful  I often sit and wish it would all go away but it won't