Wandering the internet, looking for people in the same boat...the titles in this forum seem to match what I'm feeling, so anchoring my good ship here for a while.
Lost my wife, aged 47, on the 16th October after a 3 and a half year battle with a rare metastatic kidney cancer. Cremation was yesterday. Obviously, the bedlam of organising this kept me occupied in the time inbetween, but now the madness has quietened, I'm really starting to feel the grief and loneliness and felt the need to share somewhere. Although we'd known it was a losing battle, the speed with which it happened really shocked us. She went for a hospital appt for a pre-assessment for immunotherapy and was kept in - a week later, they were still planning further treatments, palliative & hospice care and occ health changes to the house. A day later she was dead. With very little warning. Waiting for a phone call, possibly tomorrow, from one of the palliative nurses as I've asked for a deeper explanation of what went on those last 24 hours or so just so I can ratify it all.
But, for now, grief is a cruel mistress, there's no doubting that. Any suggestions of how to start dealing with it would be gratefully appreciated.
x
If I had half the chance NellieJ I'd be up to no good 
I'm too old and knackered for anything else pmsl xxx
