Grief of losing a loved spouse or partner

Hi,

That was a lovely post and so true. I lost my husband on 28th November 2019, he was 56. I feel I am doing ok, but as you say never thought it would be so hard living without him. It's the little things I miss, having our morning coffee together, watching tv, just nothing really.

I am having loads of photos printed off my phone and although not the best they make me smile (and sometimes cry) when I remember when/where they were taken and do bring some comfort on my darkest days.

I too have my little dog who makes me get up and dressed as she needs walking and I have returned to work which almost makes me feel "normal" for a few hours. I'm luckier than most as I still have children at home (not that teenagers are much company) but they are around.

I woke this morning feeling ok then looked over at the empty side of the bed and it was stomach churning as I thought "another day to get through without him". He was my biggest champion, always boosting my confidence.

Love and hugs to everyone on this site in these strange times we are living in at present.

Ali x

Sending you both some love and hugs 

Mandy x x

Only just logged back in after my post in May, hope everyone reading this is coping OK and staying safe in these crazy weird times, sometimes it is all surreal and unbelievable until the TV or radio keeps us in the moment that it is indeed very real and this blooming awful Corronavirus is still taking loved ones like a thief in the night. Creeping up as a silent killer that can't be seen. My thoughts are with all those who have been affected by it, so many people. All precious to those they love dearly, life is so unpredictable and the fact that none of us knew anything about this virus before Christmas of last year. We are all living our lives on hold, its much harder when grieving and its all still so different for us after losing our loved ones to Cancer, trying to come to terms with loss & emptiness. Only this morning I was swept up in a moment of complete melt down after walking in a lovely woodland spot close to my home. I was listening to the radio with my headphones in and on comes 'Stairway to Heaven' by Led Zeppelin' and yes the full 7 minute version. I had to stop and take stock of where I was stood at that very moment, yes it was a different stairway, a woodland version of tapered steps up to a gorgeous Apple Orchard beyond. After a deep intake of breath I composed myself and carried on.almost feeling that my darling man was stood right next to me in spirit and giving me strength when I was having a little wobble moment. My collie dog was at my side calmly waiting for me to continue our walk. It was so good to smell the fresh clean air that is so very different after a dry spell and the rain is on its way I felt the first spits & spots on my face and knew it was best to get home for a lovely cup of coffee and tackle the day ahead. Came home & climbed the stairs and tackled a task I'd put off, I managed to clear most of the wardrobe into 4 piles. Special things for my son. Another for my daughter. A suitcase of favourite clothes to re-purpose into a sewn teddy bear, a project for another rainy day. A large pile is for Charity donations and lastly some odds & ends for textile recycling. Feeling proud to have achieved this today & I know it was a gentle nudge from my moment in the woods, to crack on and just do it. Still feeling a little wobbly as these tasks are never easy & doing them alone is tough.  A large glass of wine will be my reward at dinner time. Still miss my man like crazy and the huge hole he's left in my heart will take forever to heal.  

Keep on keeping on lovely people, this path we travel is full of bumps in the road, just have to keep dodging the potholes that might cause us to fall and get bruised, 

SweetRocket x 

This was such a lovely post and it resonated very much with me this feeling of being somewhere and simply having to stop because our breath gets taken away by grieve and then to gently composing ourselves again and continuing with our day-to-day tasks. So well written. And you are so right. It takes a lot of time and it is never easy and perhaps we will never ever heal from this completely as our men were so dear to us. But we are doing our best to move forward in this different life now

SweetRocket - inspiring posts and I will raise a large glass of wine to you at dinner time. Thank you