HUGE WOBBBLE AND SETBACK

Hi Sheila I'm 10 months plus and often feel I'm going backwards so don't beat yourself up over it if you want a cry have one shout and holler I do then I have a few goodish days then back to crying again it will get less painful but that empty feeling will always be with us I think hope your day gets a little better 

Hi Sheila, even though I haven't felt like you describe in a very long time, I completely understand where you are coming from and I have had many days like this myself in the past. I think it is important here that grief is like waves, sometimes you can be okay for a long time and then all of a sudden there is there is crushing despair. I am sorry you are feeling this way right now. And I hope that you can go with the flow and accept it as it is right now and hopefully feel better very soon.
Love Mel

Hi Sheila

I know exactly where you are coming from,its 22 weeks for me since losing my husband Micky & I like all of us on here experience the waves of grief that just overwhelm us many times.Just take it for what it is today a not so good day but try and think of all the days when you have got through this,thinking & doing positive things which will make Bob proud of you for carrying on. I think VE day is a very emotional day and seeing others celebrating together albeit from a distance is hard when you just want your loved one here to join in with you it makes you feel more alone with your loss. Take comfort that you are not alone in your feelings of going backwards etc,in a few days I am sure you will find some stamina & move forward again,til then keep talking on here.

Keep on keeping on

Love Laura x

Hi Sheila 

it’s four months for me now I  have good days bad days seem to keep plodding through the days hate the loneliness when I do things at home I always ask Diane if I have done a good job 

I don’t sleep properly i cook and think I don’t  really want it. But we all have to keep trying to get through bad days 

will it help when you go back to work. Chin up and try and have a good day

take care 

martin x

hi Sheila I'm so sorry for your loss at this time think we all have feelings that overwhelm us I'm a year past I don't like to think about time its to long anyway I've read your post s and you seem so brave always getting things done and runing miles . I'm so struggling with mine keep stopping and walking.? Hope your day gets better sheila Virtual Cuddle

Hi Shelia

We all have the good and bad days I think. The bad always seem so much worse than the good days are good, if that makes sense!

I had a good day yesterday, we did celebrate VE day in Ric's honour, as he was ex military and loved it so much. I put up flags including his regimental one in the front garden and we had a BBQ and homemade scones and cakes in the back garden. I opened up the summer house so that he could join in and we all sat in there together, the first time in months! Ric's ashes are there waiting to be scattered.

But today I feel flat! My annual leave got mucked up by my manager and I have to go back to work on a Saturday late shift!!! Then a day off tomorrow! I had a phone call Thursday asking if I minded working alone! We have no patients and I have to be in the hospital just in case of emergency! I have never done this before and one minute I am considered capable and the next treated on the ward as a HCA! Because I have been redeployed!! It will be a long 8 hours!!! On the plus, I can sit and write the hospital letter that I haven't got round to as no one will be there to see what I am doing!! But not the best end to annual leave! I had achieved quite a bit this week, sorted and tidied the garage, full of Ric's things!, Built a flat pack bookcase ( struggled with arthritic hips and hands), everything is spotless and clean, garden immaculate (even moved a small conifer alone) and baked and cooked from scratch! 

But now I feel flat and low!! I so hope we can do a bit more and come out of lockdown a bit tomorrow, it is driving me crazy. I know I would be ok if I could get out to the country or beach for a few hours! I have never been confined before! At least I know not to commit a crime because I couldn't do prison!!! 

Hope your days improve again and well done in what you achieved. Fantastic

Love and hugs Alison xxx