Cancer is cruel

Hi Poppy, 

Yes, it does feel like a very bad joke even after so many months on. 

My husband was admitted to the hospital on 17th June 2019, after he had received a phone call from the GP about his blood tests. He went to the hospital straight from his work wearing his work suit and he had not expect, he would have to stay. He thought, it would only be to discuss his blood results. He even went back to work to do a handover. At this stage we still had not have a clue, how bad it was. He stayed in the hospital and never came out again.

We also did everything together and never been apart. Life can be so crual. I am 50, but cannot see any future. 

I hope, you have enough support arround you. Look after yourself and don't expect much from yourself. Just do, what you feel up to. 

Love xxx

I'm so sorry for you loss Poppy51.

You are so right that cancer is traumatic and cruel. The speed of your husband's illness sounds terrifying and I want to send you a big hug.

My husband's diagnosis to passing was I thought quick at just 3 months he was only 47. Our children and I watched his decline and it was awful.

My husband worked off shore for a month at a time and after he passed I could pretend he was away (not like I was in denial) but I wanted some hope that maybe he would walk back through the door. 

I will be thinking of you on Tuesday and sending you strength to get through the day.

Poppy51

Cancer is indeed cruel, I am sorry to read your post, and for your loss.

The speed of deterioration from diagnosis to passing can be rapid, made worse if our loved one is in pain.

We all have similar experiences, we all have lost our soulmate. The grief is at times unbearable, and we each deal with it In our own way.

Take care, be kind to yourself, and know we all understand.

Gary

Oh bless you. I understand your despair. My husband had one visit from the district nurse, we had no help! We were supposed to have more time but he died at home suddenly! I am still waiting for the coroner's decision on why he died! Frankly I don't care what he thinks now! He suggested an intentional overdose! I know that is not true as I found him face down on the floor! He wasn't ready, he had lots to do first!! I have laid Ric to rest and feel he is at peace now. I hope you feel better after your husband's funeral. I did. I felt I had done him proud and that he was out of pain and he sort of beat the cancer as he didn't die from it! I hope you can find something to help you a bit. I am getting wobbly days still, it was only 28 Dec. 

Just do as you want to do and when you want to. There is no right or wrong. Take care Hun. Hope all goes well on Tuesday, it will pass in a blur but I will think about you xxx

Poppy51, I am so very sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you. But I am glad you have found and joined this forum. You will find lots of support here from people who are somewhere on this journey and I think we are all agreed that the help and support you get from this group is invaluable.

Of course it is a very traumtic situation especially there was so little time from diagnosis to his death.

I can imagine that he must have been in a lot of pain only being on Tramadol and Paracetamol. That's no real pain control at all and particularly Paracetamol when the liver is already damaged is not the right choice of medication. It is very unfortunate that he wasn't able to receive better treatment that could have made his final days less painful for him.

I hope you have support from loving family and friends. And I will be thinking of you on Tuesday.

I lost my husband in May of 2018. He was diagnosed in 2003 with prostate cancer. This cancer spread to his liver in 2017. He had a good few rounds of Chemo but in April of 2018 he became very ill with Influenza and Pneumonia and he never recovered from it. Six weeks later he died. His death was very peaceful. We were in the hospital where he had been a patient for so many years and I was able to be with him all the way until his heart stopped beating, something for which I am really, really grateful.

Love, Mel.

Poppy I'm so sorry that you're here and had so little time.

We sound very alike as I too am the introvert and we did everything together. 

You will get through Tuesday I promise.