Just need to say something

Hi again everyone

The grief is still ongoing. I'm on the edge of crying at the drop of a hat. It seems to have suddenly got worse as I approach the 6 month mark of Anne passing. I've seen from past posts that this seems a common phenominour but I can only guess why. Maybe all the challenges of living alone have been overcome and now it's all become a form of 'normal'  But a false 'normal' because our loved ones are not here to share it. As someone else posted similarly a while ago ( Sorry my mind has closed down as  to who.) I feel like my Anne should now walk through the door  and say to me. "Well done love you've done so well.  Now the experiment is ended so we can get back to normal. What shall we have for dinner?"   

Love and Light 

Geoff

Hi Geoff, 

I feel same just like yourself. I still cannot come to terms, that this my life now. When I thought, I was doing a bit better, things got worse. I talk to my husband or his photo and getting no answer. I still expect him to come home, but he is not coming. The table in the kitchen is still set for two. 

I really feel that I am losing my mind as I don't know, how much longer I can survive like this. Some days I can do things arround the house, then the next day the motivation is completely gone. The feeling of being lonely and the silence in the house are horrible. 

Just don't know, what to do. 

Sorry Geoff. My rant is not helping you. 

Love xxx

Andrea you have just wrote down exactly how I am feeling at the moment. 

The loneliness and silence gets worse by the day  

Mike.  

Hi Geoff and all,

My lifes a roller coaster ups and downs all the time.

I'm approaching the 6 month mark, it's strange but I constantly count the months I guess we all do?

I've definitely come to terms that my beloved is not coming back, I still think of things and turn to tell her but realise she's not beside me, this happens fairly regularly. I've found driving particularly difficult as she was always beside me I still chat about the journey but knowing she's not there. Long journeys are silent and cold.

I cry a lot too Geoff, not quite at the drop of a hat but not a day goes by without a tear. This is my new life, I hate it, I never expected the loss so soon, and as for us all I was totally unprepared. I Dont have a clue where this is going, I soldier on day by day, I'm lucky that I can still be motivated to get up and do things although I spend time frivolously doing nothing or wasting time too.

Grief, something I didn't understand till the day I lost Amanda, I'm still confused, broken in many ways, a lifetime together and now that massive void with nothing to plan for just getting by day to day. It's a cruel world.

I still talk to the pictures, every day.

Gary

Dear Andrea 

Please don't apologise for your rant. In a strange way it's comforting to know that I'm not the only one experiencing this aweful dilemour although  of course I wish nobody did as I feel we are not alone by far. I too don't know what to do as my medication for clinical depression doesn't even touch the hurt, as grief is not an illness. I'm the one in fact who should be apologising for my original post but at that time I was staring down into the abyss and the need to say something - anything- just took me over. Keep posting Andrea as I will because our site is literally a life saver. 

Love and Light 

Geoff 

Dear all, 

Thank you everyone for your replies to this thread. I read all carefully and can totally empathise with your feelings and thoughts. You are all a treasure in my life xx

Love and Light 

Geoff.