My Husband died last month and now it's Christmas

Hi, sorry you find yourself here. My husband died in November too, but 2 years ago, Christmas is upon you so quickly isn't it?

It's good that you've been coping reasonably in the daytime, nights are different for some reason!

I've been struggling today for some reason, but if you have read my post, please don't think you're going to feel like you do now forever. Somebody told me today that bereavement is a place we may have to visit from time to time, and that it's not a linear process. I think I know what they meant!

Living in such a media filled world, Christmas is 'in our faces' all the time and so it's difficult when you don't feel as you used to. By the way, my husband always used to say 'why don't we open our presents on Christmas Eve?'!! I'm afraid I always said no! Such a spoil sport!

I have found this site to be very helpful, particularly in the beginning and I hope you'll find that too. It is helpful to connect with others in the same position. I don't post much now, but still drop in from time to time.

Sending you hugs, hoping that just knowing there are people who understand will be of some help. c

Thank you Northernlass I appreciate the response. I have been on so many forums and chat spaces tonight and yours is the only post I have received

That's ok, actually it helped me too. As I say, I'm not always like this! It will get easier for you, I think we just need to accept that grief isn't linear and we will do well and then suddenly have a difficult time.

After a only a few weeks you're still in shock really, so it's not surprising that you're finding it hard tonight. We had been married for 35 years, so I guess it will take time to fully adjust to this new life.

Are you spending tomorrow with anyone?  My first Christmas was a blur really, although I did have my daughter and son in law with me and we did attempt Christmas dinner etc. I don't think we knew what else to do!

Don't be too hard on yourself if you don't feel up to much, I think that's possibly one mistake I have made - pushing myself too hard. I'm going to try and be kinder to myself, more like I would be to others! X

That sounds like good advice. We never had anyone else in our lives really, no kids, no friends, family we saw seldom so it has left me a bit isolated. I have begun to reach out more and not be so afraid to connect with people but that will all take time. I am at a loss for further things to say I think I just need to give in to the grief tonight. Thank you for contacting me, I am very grateful

Hi devoteddevestated, Northern Lass and everyone

Im so sorry youve joined us here. It is very early days for you but all of us on here will totally get it. This is my second Christmas without my husband & although it does ever so  slowly become a little easier, it is still so very hard, especially when it’s occasions such as this. I have felt very wobbily this eve. I remember last year that actually Christmas Eve was the worst day for me - as Northern lass says, the anticipation & build up makes it hard to escape but what I do know is that Christmas quickly goes around, same as always & for me Boxing Day was much easier. I sincerely hope it is the same for you. 
Do what feels right for you tomorrow, there are no rules. 
I will light a candle next to a picture of my husband as my children & I open the presents & although I wanted so much longer than the 29 years we had together, I will try & remember the happy times. 
take care of you & please keep posting here if it gives you comfort. I have had so much support from people on here & im very grateful to all who post on this site.

big hugs to all this evening, may we find courage& strength  to face the festive days ahead 

Sarah xx