Recent Loss

My husband passed away 8 weeks after diagnosis in August this year so in some way know where you are coming from - realise we’re all different though - there’s no ‘right’ way to do this, just your way so bear that in mind - thinking of you.

You are still in shock, I remember the first couple of months after my husband died in March 2019. We had 6 months after diagnosis together and I just went through the motions. So take your time and lean on those close to you. Feel free to share your thoughts and feeling here, it will give you support and comfort when you most need it.  Thinking of you

Thanks for this & my thoughts are with you too.Its a surreal situation,it feels like my world has stopped while everything else still goes on around me.  

Yes Chris you are right I am still in shock,I feel like I have been in a washing machine on fast spin for the past 5 weeks & only now starting to slow down and take in what has happened.It is good to talk to others who have suffered loss as you have a better understanding of where I am coming from.My friends & family are supportive but don't always get how I am feeling as they are too close,they want me to be positive all the time and think of happy memories of my husband Micky and I do at times but as it still feels so new and raw its hard to think of the good times.

Hello grinsdale, I'm sorry you find yourself reaching out on this site alongside the rest of us. I usually lurk in the background reading the posts but not normally commenting. However your post stood out to me as I totally get where you are at. I lost my husband on Feb 21st this year, of secondary liver cancer, primary bowel. We only had the diagnosis on Feb 6th and were told there was nothing that could be done. Everything following happened so quickly it was brutal for us all.He was only 56.  I too was in shock for quite some time trying to get my head around what had happened questioning how could we not have known, but most of all how was I going to live without him? He was my rock, and soulmate.

As you say it's very raw at the moment and I'm sure your emotions are in turmoil with the shock of what has happened. I'm now 10 months into this journey and have to say that the happier memories do resurface and I now find myself more often smiling when a memory is triggered. I would do anything to have him by my side again but I'm beginning to adjust to the life I now have without him.

I know everyone will say this to you but be kind to yourself, allow yourself to feel how you feel, whether it be sad, angry or in my case completely irrational at times. Try to eat and drink each day and do not expect too much of yourself. This is a long, exhausting journey that none of us chose to be on.

Sending a big hug

Sue

Thank you so much for this Sue,my husband was also was my rock & soulmate cant imagine my life without him so try to not think about the future at the moment,just try to get through one day at a time,xmas is just another hard day for me but I'm going to take our two retrievers to the coast for along walk & clear my head & think of good memories of which I have so many.Its good to hear that 10 months on you are enjoying good memories again that gives me hope.

Hugs to you

Laura