My wife has died

Dear Jheg

I truly feel for you having lost my wife on the 12th July from pancreatic cancer. We were married 50yrs. This is a brilliant site to vent your feelings and also seek companionship and guidance from those who, like yourself,  are going through the grieving process. Non of us are experts on dealing with grief:  in my opinion nobody is as it effects everyone slightly differently. Our expertise comes from experience    -  the highest form of learning.

Light and Love 

Geoff

Jheg,

This is a great site, you can vent when you need to read others experiences and give your opinions which may help others.

Sorry to hear of your loss, my wife of 46 years Amanda died end of July from Pancreatic Cancer, all very sudden and rapid with no warning or symptoms. I had been with her as partner, friend and wife for over 50 years.

I find if your able recounting your thoughts, telling your story or venting your frustrations all help. Most of us on here have done that, and you can be sure we all understand and empathise with you. It's a safe place with a group of people who share exactly what your going through, I would have said it's not me and I took a while to join the group, but it's helpful.

It's  over 4 months since my beloved life partner passed, so far it's not getting easier to manage the loss and grief, but I'm able to function at least in part.

Take care and vent as often as you need.

Gary.

Thank you Geoff

Thank you Gary, my name is Jim and my amazing wife was only 48.

Life is unfair but I have a 17 yr old and a father-in-law to support now so must get on with it.

Hi Jheg,

it is a horrible thing to start writing here, I remember why I did, it was because I didn’t know what else to do, and I didn’t want to burden anyone else with my grief as they were grieving too. My partner passed in May this year, I remember my feelings, which still feel raw. It is such a hard time but this place weirdly helps, it is somewhere that you know people understand and there is NO judgement, there are no silly questions or people telling you to get on with things and you can just say what you need to, we are all here to help and support each other as we are all feeling our way hopelessly through.

dont be too hard son yourself, and remember you need to grieve too.

take care x

Hi Jheg,

I'm sorry for your loss. These words may seem empty but, like everyone else here, when I utter these words, they are sincere and heartfelt, for obvious reasons, unfortunately.

Of course you need to support your daughter and father-in-law, but don't forget you also need support. It's still very, very recent for you and the reality has surely not hit you yet but let yourself grieve and cry. I have no advice to give but I'm just telling you what I read: they say that parentsshould not try to hide their grief from their children, that showing your pain and admitting how much you miss the person actually helps the children to grieve; they feel as though they're allowed to. I, myself, have no children and probably have no right meddling but I thought it might be important for you to know what counsellors and therapists think.

Take good care of yourself.

 Hi I am so sorry to hear about your wife ..and what happened in A&E ...it really is all to much to take in for you all.

i lost my hubby 12 weeks ago still ant believe it ..he had just turned 62 and we where not expecting it to happen so soon ...ihavea son of 17 it was his birthday the last thing his Dad said to him was happy birthday son ...he is finding it very hard .

Dont know if your daughter is still at school but if so please tell them ..my son went back after 6 weeks ..but missed so much work I don't think he will sit exams ...he has kept a lot into his self and does not seem to cry .l.i really worry about him building it all up inside him 

I really hop you daughter has the help she needs and you too..it's all so hard ..all you can really do is be there for her and tell her it's ok to cry and for you as well ...samewith your father in law ...

it all seems so u real but this is a great site and we all try to support each other's ..like just know an others sleepless night take care ..just hour by hour 

Thank you all for your thoughts. We are taking it day by day and thankfully my daughter is able to talk to me about how she feels. She is amazing like her mum.