the aftermath of my husband's death - his cancer had reached his spine and he was paralysed from the chest down since this time last year and died two months ago.

I cared for my wife for nearly 4 months every dsy.

There is a great feeling of emptiness that follows loss made worse I feel if you've been totally involved with their care over many months or years.

I found I missed the closeness caring brought it was as if my purpose for the last month's just disappeared and you have that double loss no one to care for and no one in your life.

I joined local hospice groups, Macmillan also do something similar I think. The hospice group even though my wife didn't go into the hospice, were very supportive, councelling if and when your ready. I joined the monthly walking group, a couple of hours wandering in the muddy woods but with great people who totally get where your at.

The hospice also do a monthly lunch club again meet others in the same position chat talk and eat and they also had councellors who mingled and listened.

I found that all helped me. I'm not sure what is available in your area but it might be worth asking around.

This group is great by the way we're all in the same boat and it's great to talk to unburden and tell your story if your able

Take care Gary.

Dear BollaDewet, 

I understand exactly how you feel. For 6 months after i lost my wife Jean i was lost. It can be very hard  to get through the bad times. I would urge you to keep posting within this group, keep talking with us. Take each day as it comes and try and get out and about, mixing with others. Sometimes one can feel guilty about being happy but don't let this stop you, there is no need to feel guilty and don't be lonely.

Don't forget our loved ones are still here, they are still with us, in our hearts and minds. It is the hugs and kisses we miss, the physical body but they are still around us so be happy in the knowledge that they are still here in spirit. You are not alone.

Big hugs,