Hard days .

Oh Val

I'm so sorry you are understandably feeling much more emotional just now. These 2 dates are now going to be linked. In time you will hopefully feel a little comfort that Alan and your sister in law are together and happy memories of you all will make you smile.

I wish Alan a Heavenly birthday and hope some happy memories brighten your day.

Sending you a hug x

Just had all the grandkids and parents round it was a really good day all seemed to have fun .just taken some home and the rest have gone with there mum and dad's had a bath and a total melt down cried my eyes out how can it hit you so hard out of the blue I was thinking I was over the worst god help us 

 Thank you for your kind words Ruby Diamond,been a really hard day,let’s hope tomorrow is easier,,family took me for a meal and then went to the cemetery,it was lovely how they all looked after me,just looking at photos of birthdays gone yes tears but lovely memories.....Thank you for the hug,Sending one back hope your day has been ok.....Val.x

Sounds like a good day Newb,but yes it just hits you out of nowhere.ive started to just let the tears flow and not try and hold them back, hope your evening is not to hard....Val.....

I'm so glad you were looked after and were able to smile through the tears.

I'm currently staying with my mum and dad, having a visit with my youngest son as it's school holidays already in Scotland. Being away from home and catching up with friends and family where we used to live is always a double edged sword. My Rob should be visiting with us but we also shared some memories and had a laugh.

Thank you for the hug, I hope tomorrow is a good day for you x

Oh, Val47, I just posted on "Struggling", ranting aout my own pain today as it's now exactly 10 months since my husband died. I 'm sorry  you had to go thrpugh all that again. No, it doesn't seem to be getting easier. A lot of us seemed to have had a hard time this weekend.

Hope everybody has a brighter week.

Val,

I'm so sorry for you. I'm at the very early part of my loss (my wife died a month ago) but with the counseling I've had I've learned that there is no one time line that works for everyone. I think that the longer you were together probably increases the time it takes to arrive at a 'new normal'. 

Another thing I've been told, and I'm dreading the approach of the holidays, is that every 'first' is painful. The first holiday, the first birthday, the first anniversary, etc. I don't know if you had been to any other funerals or services in the past 13 months but if this was the first funeral then it's totally understandable. Especially if this was your first return to the place where you held services for your husband. There was a man (in his late 50's) at my wife's memorial service who had lost his wife 18 months before and had buried her cremains only two weeks prior! I'm told he broke down early into the service and was an emotional wreck for the remainder.

I'm not at all surprised that your emotions would be so strong, and to have it so close to his birthday just adds another level of impact. I think you were very strong to go to the funeral and show your support. I think it's good that you allow yourself to release your emotions whenever you feel the need. 

I'm glad you posted here to share your grief. You have my support and my wish that you will find a new life without your husband physically with you but i your heart and head forever. 

Rob

I’m so sorry for your loss Rob,i can imagine how you must be feeling,Yes it was the first time I had been to the same place where Alan’s service was,,so I think the tears were for my sister in law,and Alan.,but then it hit me really hard later on.Then yesterday his Birthday I don’t think I have stopped crying these last few days,even now as I write this the tears run.We were married for 52yrs and just feel like part of me is missing.I hope the counselling helps you and gives you some comfort,Thank you so much for your lovely post especially when it’s only a month since you lost your wife,and you will be going through all the different emotions.yet you still found time to write these kind words.So Thank you Again......Val.