Putting one foot in front of the other day by day

Hi Joggaju so sorry for the loss of your husband. My wife of 43 years passed away on 15 July. Your son is right one foot in front of the other, one day one hour at a time. It is such a horrible feeling. The loneliness and quiet around the house I think is the worst. But our loved ones would want us to keep going as hard as it is. 

Try and eat a little sleep when you can and keep in touch on this forum as we all know what you are going through.

 Mike 

Hi JOGGAJU

Im so sory for your loss. I truly am. I lost my wife Anne of 50yrs on the 12th July 2019. Please continue commenting on our site. Everyone is so supportive as we are all grieving at the   different time stages on this horrific journey. I've been through a few dark moments recently but all my friends on our site have helped pull me through. I've found you can express what ever feelings are going through your mind and no one judge's  because we've all been there. Stay safe JOGGAJU.

Love and Light

Geoff

What a wonderful son you have. I'm sure you're very proud of him. He is absolutely right, one minute at a time, one hour, little steps. We are all here with you.

We all have lost our other halves, and yet are able to offer a kind word, sympathy and just sharing and understanding what you are going through. 

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Hi Joggaju,

I, too, express my deepest sympathy. Post when you need to. Writing helps evacuate a teeny-weeny bit of the pain and it helps knowing that there are other people who understand exactly what you are feeling and going through.

JOGGAJU,

I lost my wife of 30 years on September 23rd. She was in hospice in our home for the final 2+ weeks. We had the same issue with friends and relatives wanting to visit and spend time with her. It sapped her strength and left less time for my son and me to be with her. 

My wife and I did have time to talk in the months prior to her death and we were able to share our anger and frustration at this unfair turn life had dealt her/us. 

I believe you are still a 'strong one' and needing support does not change that. The impact of this loss is so great that you are just welcoming any opportunity to share a little bit of the burden for a few moments. I also believe that your son is correct, as Ruby said, move forward as best you can, at your own pace, with little steps. Don't be surprised if sometimes it feels like one step forward and two steps back. Just try to keep moving.

Best wishes,

Rob

Thank you for taking the time to comment Rob and I am so sorry to read of your loss.  I am glad that I have found this forum as I now don't feel as alone. Stay strong and keeping going forward.

best wishes

Julie

Hi JOGGAJU,

I am so very sorry for the sudden loss of your husband. My heart goes out to you.

Your post was so moving. Your situations and the feelings you describe in your post sound so similar to my own shortly after my husband Paul's death, and even today I feel often the same way.

My husband died in May of 2018. He had been living with prostate cancer for 14 years when the cancer spread to his liver.

I do understand that, while of course it was nice that so many people came to see your husband one last time, it left very little time just for the two of you as a couple.

This was different for us. Paul and I didn't have many friends and our families are small, so we were able to spend a lot of time together in his final months.

Like you, I was alone with my husband during the final hours and, like in your situation, he was disoriented and partly unconscious and we weren't able to talk much; and yet, I feel that we shared every moment in a very unique way.

I think what you say is so true. All we can do once the funeral is over and everyone is gone and somehow we need to continue living our life (our new normal), all we can do is put one foot in front of the other day by day and see what life is for us now.

Take your time to do whatever feels right. If you want to cry, cry; if you want to go for walks, do that; if you feel you want to be alone, spend time alone, and if not, ask your sons if they want to spend some time with you; everything is allowed, let everything be there and accept it. This is a very, very difficult time for you and you need to give your system time to come to terms with the new situation.

And, if you like, keep posting here. This is a wonderful forum.

Love and hugs, Mel.