Alcohol - Friend or Foe ?

I think everything in moderation Geoff and no I won't preach to you. Your an adult and can make your own choices.

My reservations would only be for your health and well being. 

I don't often drink but my vice would be chocolate and I really could replace all food with chocolate!! Not healthy and I know my Rob would be looking down and he would be really cross. So as I say everything in moderation. I buy a small amount with my weekly shop and when it's been eaten and enjoyed I don't get any more til next week. 

I also struggle to find joy and often wonder what's the point but I'm only 50 my boys are 13 and 19 and my husband would expect me to carry on and make the best of it. However hard some days are. 

It's a beautiful evening and I'm going to walk my lovely husky, I try to appreciate the simple things in life.

I hope you have a peaceful evening

Thank you for your very honest post.

I know what you mean when you speak of "surviving". You function and do the things one has to do - shopping, cleaning, washing, paying bills, etc. - but in nothing there is any enjoyment and you feel that this won't change.

I am not going to say that it will change, all I can say is that for me it has. Not very much and very, very slowly. But, over time, I have found that I can make this life without my Paul work and somewhere, somehow there is a little enjoyment or even joy creeping in here and there.

As for the alcohol, while I agree with Ruby Diamond who says that, firstly, she won't preach to you and, secondly, that all things in moderation is the thing to think about, I do know for myself that I, too, drink too much as well. I don't drink every night. And I hardly ever drink until I am drunk; in fact, I only get drunk when I am with other people, on my own I just wouldn't go there. But there is definitely more drink in my life than there used to be and it sometimes worries me. I certainly don't want to become an alcoholic or even in the slightest dependent on alcohol where I feel miserable when I don't have any at home or something like that.

Love, Mel.

Hi Ruby Diamond,

It's a lovely evening here in Dublin too. Unfortunately, I didn't have time to go for a walk between clients and setting up my new website for my business. But I hope your walk was nice.

I found it so beautiful how you said that you are trying to enjoy the simple things. I am trying to do the same. I think, unless we do that, we won't find any enjoyment anywhere because our pain would be too big. But if even a bit of sunshine, the mild autumn air, the smile or the greeting of a stranger, any of those small things, can help you to feel a little better, that is so important. And maybe that is what a peaceful life is all about where we no longer argue with reality but try and befriend it.

Love, Mel.

Hi Mel

That's exactly it. The pain is so big and we cannot change it but I can appreciate the seeds I planted in the garden and I've been delighted they grew and are still in bloom now.

I had a new kitchen fitted (very stressful without my Rob organising it all) but I did it. Very proud of myself and it's absolutely gorgeous. I love to admire how clean and shiny everything is. The rest of the house not so much but little steps, I will get there. 

You must take alot of satisfaction from your work keeping you busy and setting up a new website. I don't think we praise ourselves enough, just keeping going is an achievement.

Take care x

Hi All. I am glad it is nice in Dublin , in west cork it is blowing a gale and raining. I also take a drink at night . I always had a glass of whiskey at night when my wife was alive , but know maybe two possible three. I would never get drunk on my own or in company for that matter , it just takes the sting out of things.

I think whatever anyone has to do to get through these days and maybe helps them a bit good luck to them. 

PS. I like chocolate to. 

Mike 

Hi Ruby Diamond,

Ah yes I know what you mean. Some of the things, actually many things, we used to do with our loved ones or our loved ones used to do can be so stressful to do on our own now. But you did it and I think that's great. And I am delighted you find so much enjoyment in your new kitchen. I love nice clean and sparkly worktops too :-)

Yes I find my work really wonderful. I really sense that it is what I am here to do: help people to feel better, to heal, to find themselves, to rediscover their full potential... whatever one might want to call it. And, while I am making changes to my existing business, I am still working slowly but surely on bringing Reiki and my healing work in general to cancer patients and their relatives here in Dublin. Only yesterday I was interviewed for a podcast - the podcast was on grief but I spoke also about the healing work I do. Actually, the podcast was a bit of a disaster from my point of view because I was supposed to talk about my grieving process since Paul died but mostly I spoke about his illness and how we had coped. But I'll have another interview with a different podcast next week and I will do better.

Love, Mel.