hi my names justine I am just hoping to get some kind of understanding of what I’m supposed to do to cope with this horrible feeling of loss. I lost my partner Brian in April this year and I really don’t know how to cope with the feelings of numbness, anger and heart break. He was diagnosed with non hodgkinson lymphoma in October last year then went through total hell from there . Life is so cruel just like to talk to people who understand x
Hi and a warm welcome to the online community
Firstly can I offer my deepest condolences for the death of your partner Brian. Your feelings are completely normal and are a natural part of the grieving process. You may find this information from Macmillan on things that might help you useful.
Chatting to others on this online community is a safe way to express how you feel and to get support. I have not been in your position, as I was the one with cancer, but replying to you will bump your post back to the top of the page where it will be seen again.
You could also join in with any of the recent threads in this group to connect to others who will understand what you're going through.
I'm also tagging this group's Community Champion DaveyBo into my reply as he may be able to offer more help to you.
Sending a supportive ((hug))
"Never regret a day in your life, good days give you happiness, bad days give you experience"
Hi Justsmith
As latchbrook has mentioned what you are feeling is perfectly normal. Posting here whenever you want will help and someone will always respond to you.
Try visiting one of Brian's favourite places on your own, sit and quietly talk to him - he will find a way to let you know he is listening and will always be there to support and guide you as best he can.
Everyone grieves in their own way and at their own pace so don't worry about how long it takes or how badly you are feeling. Never hide your emotions - if you need to have a good cry, do so. You can always pop to the toilet at work or when out shopping to do this. If you work, does your organisation have an HR department that can offer support even if you just go along for 30 minutes to have a rant and / or cry in a confidential setting. Do you have a true friend that you can talk to who will understand what you are feeling and will not mind if you get angry and / or cry?
Please contact the support line free on 0808 808 0000 which is open daily 8 am – 8 pm for a free confidential chat. You can use this link your area to find support near where you live. This could be 1-2-1 or group and is also free and confidential. Also, post as much as you want whenever you want here and someone will always respond to you.
There is some useful information on coping with grief and information on the symptoms of grief.
This link allows you to download the Macmillan book Coping with Bereavement which is full of useful information and has support contact details at the back. This booklet about bereavement is free and can be downloaded as PDF or as an ebook.
This link takes you to a leaflet called In Memory which is very useful.
Lastly, here are some words which I hope will bring you some comfort -
Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other, that we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way you always used.
Put no difference into your tone, wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was, let it be spoken without effect, without the shadow of a ghost in it.
Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was; there is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around
the corner .......
All is well.
David
