Struggling

FormerMember
FormerMember
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     It’s just over ten months since I lost my wonderful husband Alan,but I seem to be struggling more now than the start of this horrible journey.Im waiting for a appointment for counselling but there is a 3month wait,I’m going to try and go to the drop in cafe tomorrow,it’s on twice a month.just hope my panic attacks don’t stop me,plus I have chronic pain syndrome.But I am going to try.Alan was my rock he helped me through my panic attacks he was always understanding and trying to do all this without him is so hard.I know we all are on the same journey trying to adjust to life without our husband/wives.but god it is so  unbearable.I got up this morning dressed to go out but still sat here,just feel lost in the town on my own.Sorry for rambling on but I know people on here will understand.hope people are having a better day than me......          Val xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Good morning Ian, 

    Thank you for getting in touch and for the advise. 

    I have tried to get in touch with the support centres above.

    Unfortunately the Maggies centre is not available in West Midlands. 

    I have tried to call Cruse on a few occasions as I have already had their contact. I haven't had luck with them either. The answering machine told me a few times, the office is closed, please don't leave a message. I have given it an other go today. The answering machine answered again, but managed to leave a message, so I should get a phone call back. 

    The local Macmilan office gave me a list of local support groups. One of them runs in a local hospital. This group meet up ones a month and the next session is due on 10th September. The other group, they gave contact for, was Cruse. 

    Also my surgery has tried to get me into a bereavement group run within a local hospice. Unfortunately I cannot join this group, because my husband wasn't their inpatient. He died at home. 

    It seems, its not easy to find a local bereavement support group. I hope, not everyone who is seeking for this kind of support, is so unlucky. Perhaps there's more support in different parts of the country. 

    This online community is the only place for me at the moment where I can find some comfort thanks to all in this group. 

    I trully appreciate your help and advise. I will continue seeking for face to face support. 

    Andrea

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    HI Andrea,

    Keep plugging away at it, the first time I contacted Cruse they told me because I lived in Berkshire I wasn't eligible for their help. I told them I wasn't in Berkshire but most my postcode is, the second time they lost my details but third was a charm and I got a counsellor although by then it was a year later and we were talking about the death of my father.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hi D

    Thank you for your reply. 

    I will try. But no one has rung back yet from Cruse. 

    Will give it a bit more time. Although feel let down about it. 

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Feeling terribly lonely

    I miss my husband. He was part of me. Part of my life. 

    Just lost completely 

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    You could try their National Helpline  0808 808 1677​ .

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hi Andrea. So sorry you are having a bad day. It’s not easy trying to cope with all this , and so hard to take it all in. I have just walked in the door after seeing my brother in law, and in the back of your mind you still hope you’re special person is there to meet you , but they are not. I miss my wife to she was the other half of me. 

    Hugs and xx. 

    Mike 

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    I have received a call back from Cruse today. Unfortunately their options are limited. The next bereavement support group is not untill 8th October and its quite far away from my home as I don't drive. The waiting time to see a counsellor one to one is as long as 6 months.

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hi Andrea sorry you didn’t have much luck with Cruse. There seems to be an awful waiting list to get on one of these courses. 

    I hope you are feeling a bit better this afternoon. I haven’t done anything today either, just got no inclination to do anything.

    it seems to be the longer it goes the harder it gets. 

    Hugs and xx. 

    Mike 

  • Hi lavender1969, does your local day hospice have a bereavement support group?  Mine does

    There's also counselling on offer.

    Fear of the unknown is the worst thing. Once we know what we're facing, we find the strength to deal with it.
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to FormerMember

    Hi Mike, 

    That's true. The longer it goes, the harder it gets.

    Haven't done a thing in last few days. 

    The silence is dreadful. The loneliness is cruel. 

    No phone calls, no messages. The friends all seem to be busy living their own lives. Don't blame them. 

    Going back to work on Monday may help. 

    Who knows. One day we may be able to smile again. 

    Thinking of you

    Hugs and xx

    Andrea