No one understands

Hello Rolf, I am sorry for your loss, especially since knowing her from a very early age.  Yes we are all going through our own Sh*t, but that doesn’t mean we can’t empathise.  Have you thought about changing your doctor to someone who may be more sympathetic.  This could possibly also help with your problem with dwp if they would sign you off.  On the other hand getting back to work could expand your world.  Have you read ‘ball In a jar’.  What sort of work did you do before.  Not much help I know, but I do understand. Love Dolly xx

I think in your current situation that you may be quite passive as you sound very depressed. Eg doctor says there’s nothing wrong and you go home wondering wtf. You need to put your foot down with the doctor, first you need a fit note to get the benefits off your back (for as long as possible), and then you need some serious help. Unfortunately some doctors are just plain rubbish and will just try and fob you off. So either demand to be referred to someone appropriate or ask for another doctor. It’s quite clear that you need help and I’ve never met you. My own experience of major grief, it never went away. I just became more and more numb to it. And the world. 

Asked for a second opinion they will soon change, grief and heart break as got to be the worst in the world because we cannot take a pill to mend us

You can do this dig deep and try and find a bit of strength back and kick that Docs ass till they bloody listen to you

big hugs Jane x

Thanks for your relies, it does help a lot to hear from people who do understand. 

It would be good if there was a pill for grief. I'm not sure that I would take it though, maybe every now and again for a rest bit. 

I know a lot of my problem is I'm scared if I don't hurt she will dissappear from my life. This could be not being able to let go. Its all very confusing. 

I'm not able to get enough out when I talk to the doctors, not anough time to pluck up the courage. 

I am going to a couple of private counclin session paid for by my mum to try and get a better understand of what is wrong with me and in turn somthing to give the doctors. 

The trouble with grief is its always complicated

Your wife won’t ever disappear from your life, she is safely tucked in your heart and in your memories.  Your mum obviously realises you are hurting and need some help.  Good old mum.  Would she go along to the doctors with you to put your case across.  Glad you are having some counselling anyway and hope it helps.  Love Dolly xx

Hello Rolf

I was so sorry to hear of your situation.

My beloved husband died last September and the grief is very raw at the moment.

I was a bereavement counsellor for about 7 years with Cruse. I think my knowledge of grief has helped me enormously during this exceptionally difficult time. I do not fear grief - I sob uncontrollably at times and it does provide some temporary relief from the pain. I can reassure you, though, that my memory of him is in no way diminished.

Fear is a powerful emotion and can hinder the grief process. Fear of never being able to stop crying, ‘going mad’ and fear of ‘losing’ your loved one if you stop grieving are common  responses and can lead to complicated grief, which I think you are suffering from. All of these fears are unfounded - people do stop crying and they do not go mad and they find it in no way affects their memory or love for their beloved.

I think that counselling will help you. If funds run out and you feel that you would benefit from further sessions, I would recommend that you contact your local Cruse branch and request some further counselling.

I hope that you soon are able to find some relief from the pain you are suffering.

ValFF

Hi, I have contacted cruse. But it's a long wait, they tod me at least 3 months, .so the private session are just a just for 6 weeks. It's somthing to do with soke insurance policy my mum has.

I must say I'm looking forward to being able to talk to some one somewhere safe where I can't just let it out with out risk of upsetting some one else. 

The trouble with friends and Familly, and the reason they come across as ubrupt is because they don't like to see me upset, and once I start I do get really tearfully.

Thanks for replys

Xxx to all

I lost my wife a month ago so can relate to your pain it never seems to end I did see a good medium  who was very good and it did help to think my wife was still by my side still cry a lot but it's a comfort to think she is near hope the pain goes for both of us 

I've been looking into life after death Scince Aud died.

So much information but no real evidence. 

My saving grace that keeps me hanging on hoping is the Pentose7Hammerofg theory.

I fnd it hard to believe ve in mediums, and occult supurstions.. I prefer to believe in science. But. Science and superstition seam tt be coming together. That gives me hope I will be reunighted with Audrey.

If that is not to be then this life has been wasted, no doomed from the start. 

X to you all

I have so wanted to se a clarvoent but have not quite been able to push past my prediocisist and my fears of being let down