3.55 can't sleep

Hi I found if I didn't sleep better to get up and do something. It's so hard round anniversaries and it's hard to think everyone has lives to live as ours has so changed beyond words. 

Let your emotions go through there's ups and downs please look after yourself and do what's right for you. Rest and leave other things they will be there another day. 

Take care xxx

H

hope you managed to get some sleep. I think night times are often the worst times. The loneliness is more intense as even with good support during the day, the reality of being alone hits. I agree that those very significant dates are often overlooked by others, they have the luxury of returning to their day to day lives which have not changed significantly. It’s only someone who has been through this will know what it’s like and how awful these dates can be.  I’ve just had my first wedding anniversary sine my husband died 5 months ago.

That’s why this group is so good because no matter what you feel there will be someone who feels exactly the same and can maybe give you hope that it will get better. 

x

I am sorry that your family has not been supportive. it is true that you have to experience it to really understand the loss. Please continue to reach out to this group. I have found that physical activity of any kind helps me sleep better. A walk, a workout video, mowing the lawn ..any of these activities make it easier to sleep. I have found that physical tired is so much better than emotionally tired. Please know that you are not alone and we are thinking of you. Are you comfortable reaching out to your family members? Sometimes they just don't know what to say or what to do.. Maybe they just need to know you would like their help. It is a hard step to take but I have had to call a friend and initiate a night out or a lunch date.  Hoping you will find some peace. 

Hi Mary 

I am surviving at the minute on little sleep. Mines just over a month 26th of April. I do understand we’re you are coming from. I also am the youngest and the first to lose my spouse. I am dreading all these first milestones. The hardest one will be September 1st we were due to Marry. My family are understandably wrapped up in there own grieve losing our oldest beloved sister. So part of me understands that. But no one realises the shear pain we go through unless they have lost there Spouce. One of my sisters said to me the other day you need to be more like our older sister she coped when she lost Bob. I just looked in shock our oldest sister had been divorced for 6 years Bob had remarried how is that the same. But she did have Four kids to him so perhaps it was. A dear friend said to me the other day only you Jane can find the strength to get through this and move forward and I know she’s right. She’s been a power of strength to me she will sit up talking with me till the early hours when she stays over. I hope your family do become more supportive for you. and I pray you start to sleep better 

love to you Jane X