Very bad couple of weeks!

I understnd completely where you are coming from.  You need to-talk to people your own age in the same situation as yourself.  There is an online site called Way.  That stands for widowed and young,  I belong to wayup which is for those widowed 50 and over, but similar I believe.  They are very supportive sites.  Have you also considered counselling.  Maybe talk to your Gp and see if they can recommend anything.  I wish you well. Love Dolly x

Dear Jaybee89,

i have had the same feelings and felt totally alone during the last year. -with the exception of this community.  

I recently had a breakthrough. On the anniversary of George’s passing I played his favorite music loudly and drank Champagne toasts-to him to him with friends and told outrageousness stories of our adventures and it was good. Twelve days later was his birthday and did same thing then a few weeks later our wedding anniversary. I think the recent community post on grief is love Captures the thought. 

Its natural to grieve, but for me the breakthrough this month was to play his/our music, remember and talk about the great/funny times together. And for me to remember how much he loved me and how he would want me to be my old happy self  like he was here.

I feel George with me, watching over me and wanting me to be happy and to move forward with him always by my side. 

What would your love want for you? What would he say to you about how you are feeling-what would he want you to do? Use those thoughts to guide you in your current life.

Play his/your  favorite music at high volume and dance to your happy memories with him -if possible invite friends that could Calibrate your happy memories with you.  It has helped me. Hope can it help you.

warmest wishes and hugs to you,

millie

Hi jaybee89,

I am sorry you have been feeling so bad.

You lost your partner so early in life. You were only 27. Nobody should lose a partner so early in life.

I am only 8 years older than you. And when my husband died last year, I experienced such shock and fear when I thought of how much more life I was going to have to live without my husband. I do understand the feelings for despair and depression and anxiety.

You asked for words of advice. Well, I do feel that it would be important for you to be kind to yourself and accept that this is how you are feeling, and how you need to be feeling, because it is your way of dealing with such a difficult and heart-breaking loss. I also feel though that it would be important to gently and kindly push yourself into more activities such as going for walks, maybe joining groups for yoga or meditation or even walking in your area, thinking back to the times wen you were happy and what hobbies you had then and taking them up again... Perhaps you could also talk to your GP about your situation and maybe he/she can give you some advice and maybe even some light anti-depressants to help you out of this depression you are in at the moment?

I feel what Millie is saying is very important too. In fact, I had an experience tonight that somehow relates to that. I was sitting on the couch and listening to Wayne Dyre. And I thought: Isn't it so sad that Paul is no longe r here so that we can experience this together? And I began to feel sadness. But then I thought: Yes, it is. But life is okay as it is now too. The time we were given was beautiful, and now I cherish the memories, and if he was here now, he would be so delighted for me that I can sit here and listen to Wayne Dyre, and that is great. We owe it to them to make the best of our lives now.

Love, Mel.