Hello.....

Dear Richard,

I hear you. Sorry to hear about the loss of your wife (and the loss of close relatives in such close proximity).

It is is shitty as you say. It is early days (and for me!) but found sharing my feelings here and the messages of support from people that understand very comforting.

Its late....need to to sleep but wanted to respond as there are always people listening here and just wanted to let yiu know that. 

With lots of love, Dutsie x

Hi Richard

There is always someone listening.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your wife the pain is unbelievable isn't it. Even when we know it's coming after the diagnosis. You both have been through so much and loosing your daughter, I cannot imagine that pain .You are honestly doing so well 

Your post wasn't a ramble and even if it was that's ok it's how you feel .We also had a humanist service, I can't believe in any higher body that would rob my husband of his life at only 47 or leave his children or me without this wonderful man. 

I too find alot of comfort speaking about my husband, I wish more friends would. I don't want him to disappear, I know I can talk about him on here. 

Take care, rest and eat and post on here whenever you need. We all understand.

Dear Richard,

I am so very sorry to hear about the loss of your one true friend and soulmate Dianne. 

Thank you so much for sharing so openly with this group of how you feel. It is really important to be able to do so; and particularly it is good to share with people who find themselves in a similar situation to your own because you know that they understand what you are going through.

It is very early days for you, and you are probably still in shock and your whole system is struggling to understand what has happened.

It is my experience too - and I think the experience of most of us here no matter how long it is since our loved one left us - that all sorts of things can set us off and we cry and cry, don't sleep to weel because especially at night the thoughts and memories and mainly loneliness creep up on us, can't eat too well because what's the point in eating alone... It is all absolutely normal, a part of the grieving process. So be kind to yourself whatever happens. Let the pain of grief move through you. Because if you don't let it move through you and try to go on as normal, it will only come out in different ways.

I am very sorry too for your other losses that happened not that long ago. And I am sure that your system is still trying to come to terms with them too. Loving is so beautiful but losing is so terribly sad.

I lost my own husband in May of last year. After a 15-year long fight with prostate cancer which had spread to his liver and was kept under control with Chemotherapy for the last year of his life. But then he got the flew and pneumonia and everything went downhill from there. He passed away very peacefully on 15th May of last year. It has been a very difficult journey so far with very different emotions hitting me at different times. It is certainly very challenging but, over time, you learn to adjust to a "new normal", one that you don't want and one that doesn't feel right but one that you know is the only one there is right now.

Sorry, now I am rambling. I just wanted you to know: I understand you and I know what you are going through and we are here for you to listen and to help.

Love, Mel.

Hi Richard

Don’t be hard on yourself or expect too much. It is very early days, yes the emotions get easier to deal with as time goes on. I am just under 4 months since I lost John. You have had such a very very hard time over the last few years. One I cannot even begin to imagine.

We all deal with this horrible situation in our own ways, but we all do understand. But I think for all of us the term taking life one hour at a time is never truer than in the first few weeks.

Luv n virtual hugs

Jo

Ps there is always someone listening here which does help.

Dear Richard sorry you find yourself here. Rest when you can and only do what's  essential that includes caring for you. I was so upset to hear of your family passing  as well. Hope the funeral people can be more sympathetic with your established relationship and continue to support you. 

Please ramble whenever you want. We may know what's coming but you can't prepare for any of it take care

Dear Richard

I feel so sad for you. I can relate so well as we lost our daughter in 2016 a year later my husband was diagnosed with Cancer I feel sure it was triggered by her death. He didn't really grieve for her well not openly he took it very much inside it was so sad. It is such early days for you .My darling husband passed away just over 3 months ago & I miss him so much. It seems wherever I go & whatever I do there are so many memories which sometimes is comforting but other times I just burst into tears but I think my routine has changed which I wish it hadn't . Everyone on this site truly understands how you are feeling so please chat to us all whenever you feel lost & lonely it helps just to write it down . Thinking of you

love & hugs 

jojo x

Dear Jojo  

The memories can be hard hopefully in time there will be some to remember  with a smile. 

Following what you said maybe that why I went somewhere new. Alternating from  enjoying a glorious spring day in a beautiful ace to wishing my husband was with me. Then  as I walked round a corner remembered a time and place he took us once many heard ago ...

On my own but surrounded by people.

Hope others on this site can take time for themselves and all the memories xxx

Dear Wifeof 26years

Thank you for your kind words I am sort of coping but some days it's just so hard ....Sometimes I just want to curl up & go to sleep forever then I count my blessings which makes me pull myself together but not really sure what I want. I guess I am trying too hard to get a normal life but it will never ever be normal again. So fed up tonight but he! ho! Britains got talent on now maybe that will cheer me up,

Sorry love & hugs to you all

jojo xx

Thank you jojo x it's comforting in a sad way to know there are others out there hurting as much as I do. Hearing other people's stories as well as making me cry is very er well I don't know how to put it but it helps some how. I've read other people's stories on here over the last two or three years but it's not until now they have hit home  not until I lost my best friend and soul mate. I thought I had it so bad but talking to others when my Diane was in the Hospice opened my eyes. Not that it made me think we were any better off but that we were not alone. It was not until the last ten days of our journey did I actually talk to anyone about it. Total strangers brought together in sad circumstances. I cried with them, sat with them and we all had loved ones drifting away from us, so sad. 

I went to the Hospice yesterday, made a cup of tea and sat out in the balcony garden looking out over the town watching people go about there lives. Just as I had done so many times with Diane before I lost her. Cried a lot but felt better after. Well for about an hour then it all came crushing in on me again. Perhaps that's normal I don't know. But to know you have had a similar journey as we gave is somehow ..  Warming if only for a little while. I'm slowly learning its good to talk but it has to be the right person

X chin up x