Does this loneliness feeling ever get better

Hi there,

I am not sure if the feeling of loneliness can get better. I think this is different for everyone and can change on a daily or even hourly basis. For example, last week I felt I was doing very well; I even felt kind of happy and cheerful at times. But since yesterday morning, I have been feeling very lonely and unwell. This afternoon, I went out for a late lunch with a friend of mine - a friend whom I hadn't seen in weeks so I was really looking forward to the catchup - and yet I couldn't get enthusiastic about it or about any of the things we were talking about. It was almost like it was unreal or as if a part of me was not there. But then I know that I could wake up tomorrow morning and feel full of energy and positivity for the day ahead. You just never know do you?

But I think it is great that you have the kids who help you to keep going. I would say that the kids really help you along on this difficult journey.

Best wishes

Mel.

Yes you are right it can feel very empty and there are brighter and darker times. All the best today xxx

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I lost my husband of 25 years in October while I was undergoing high dose chemo for Stage 4 Lymphoma.  Everything still seems unreal (I had a severe sepsis situation right after he passed, I almost didn't make it, but my resilience surprised everyone!)

I know it gets better because I saw that with my mother, who adored my father, but went on to have a magnificent and very fun life after he passed at 57.

I feel like what I'm feeling now IS normal, it's just a new kind of normal.  I have young adult children (21 & 22) so I need to be here and fully present for them, one is still in college.

Some days it IS hard to continue.  But at the end of the day I realize how damned lucky I was to HAVE Gerry for 25 years, so much luckier than I ever thought I'd be!  He was my soul mate, my better half, and we laughed so much together.  What seems to help is when i think of jokes that he would have liked, somehow that makes me feel that we're still together.

I feel your pain, though.  I wish it were easier.  I hope that knowing you're not alone makes it a bit better...

Dear Peapen,

I know what you are feeling after losing my George a year ago. The house is empty without him. On days I stay inside, i am not happy and sometimes depressed.  When i go outside things change for the better.  When I am outside doing things I love I am much better.  and even better if I am with friends.

Being a Widow (strange word after being a WIFE for almost 40 years) makes things different, many couple friends are now absent, our grown children are busy living (as they should be) and many times we are alone. For me,I am actively seeking out new friends that share interests and they MUST Have is a sense of humor. Last Thursday  friends helped me celebrate Georges life with a toast along with Blasting music of Wagners "Ride of the Valkyries" (an act which he did a great many times to the wonderment of our near neighbors  and embarrassing for me at the time ).   Recreating that act was comforting and actually the experience was healing. Next year I am going to ask as many friends as possible around the world to do the same the evening of April 11th, George would smile from heaven.  I was very lucky for the many happy, adventuresome years and very grateful to have the many years with true love in my life. I will never forget him but I am trying to rebuild my life as he would TELL ME to do if he were here.

I am seeking Joy daily, I believe that one's true love would want -even insist- that for the one they left behind. 

Hope you find Joy,

Warmest Regards,

Millie