Step daughter demanding Paul's ashes

FormerMember
FormerMember
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My partner died over 18 months ago.    My step daughter fell out with me over a year ago when I found out that she had stolen money from my house (the house I lived in with her father).   I always text her every month, ask how she is and birthdays etc.    After 18 months she has come out of the blue and asked me where her Dad's ashes are as she wants them.     This is all by text, she won't even speak on the phone.   I am speechless, I cared for her Dad solely for the last two years of his life, gave up work and looked after him 24/7.   I did ask for her help and all she said when he had just been diagnosed was "Can't I put him in a home".  I was beginning to feel I was moving on but this has put me back.    I don't know what to do, has anyone any advice?    I was not married to Paul but we lived together as for over 20 years.    I am gutted.

Florentineb

  • I'm having a similar problem with my step daughter as well.

    I asked her to leave my house 2 months ago as she had been stealing money,  going through all my financial paperwork and putting my name on credit card and loan applications.

    Since then she has been nothing but trouble.  Cumualting in a barrage of messages yesterday telling me how bad a person I was,  her Dad wouldn't treat her the way I have and how she wishes it was me who died and not her Dad.  Little does she know how much i wished for that to happen.

    She so far hasn't asked for his ashes, But I know it will come. She doesn't want me to have anything of her Dad's.  Is there a way that you can give her some of his ashes to keep or made into jewellery or something.

    It's  such a shame that tounare being treated this way. But I really know how you are feeling. 

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember in reply to Beezmouse

    Hiya Beezmouse,

    I am sorry to hear about the problems you are having with your stepdaughter too.   Grieving is hard enough without these added complications.

       I am going to give her some of the ashes, as after all she was his daughter.    It hurts as me and her had such a good relationship before he died.   I guess I just want him to myself like I had for 20 years.    He provided for her well with a house and flat, why isn’t she satisfied!!   It seems she is taking her anger out on me with demands and sarcastic texts and saying how badly I have treated her!!   I hope once she has her share she will leave me alone.     

    Thank you so much for replying B you are a lovely person and do not deserve to be treated like this by your stepdaughter.  

    Florentineb