hi again not having a good time just of late I am really missing my husband can’t get used to him not being around after 30 plus years of being together, it will be a year in may since he passed away and I still can’t believe he’s gone forever
Your post and Sarah's bought tears to my eyes and I've had recently been thinking a lot about this time last year. The pain free and at peace is something to hold in mind needed to remember that thankyou xxx
Your husband passed away 10 days before my husband passed away. And, yes, I think the time between now and then will be very difficult, but I also know that we will somehow get through it.
Like yourselves, my husband didn't want to give up. In March my parents came over from Germany for a week and he was really well during their visit. But two days after they had gone back to Germany he started to get unwell, was diagnosed with flew and pneumonia, hospitalised twice and in hospital for a total of three weeks, then released and home with me for a further three weeks before, on Monday 14 May, I had to bring him into hospital where he passed away from multi-organ failure the following evening.
Unlike you, I left the hospital once with our niece Jacqui. At the time I thought I had to get back to our house and collect a few clothes for myself in case I would have to stay in hospital longer. What a strange thought? Today I can't understand that anymore. Paul wasn't really conscious when we left and I knew he didn't know that I was going with Jacqui or how long I would be, I believe he had no concept of time left in that situation, and when we came back he was really unconscious and he never opened his eyes again, I spoke to him and held him until he was gone. All I can hope is that, while I was away, he did not regain full consciousness one more time and realised that I was not there. I didn't ask the nurses when we came back if he had opened his eyes once more or if he had said anything at all because at the time it seemed impossible that he might have, but now, almost a year later, the question arises from now and again, and it doesn't feel like it is almost a year either, I see and smell and hear the hospital still as much as on that day. Weirdly, this is exactly why I think it would have been so good for me if they had let me work there because then I would have seen that other people are sick there and die there too and it would have taken this traumatic feeling away is what I believe. Oh no, I had better not start going deeper into that now, I am crying already and I really don't want to spend the whole evening in tears. I just wish I had done some things differently, that's all, but then, don't we all?
All we can do coming up to the anniversary is to be as kind to ourselves as possible and to surround ourselves with people who understand, like this wonderful group here.
Love, Mel.
I don't like the term "moving on" because it sounds to me like we are leaving our loved ones and the life we had with them behind. I like the term "moving forward" as it implies that, while life goes on, our loved ones are still with us in our hearts and minds.
Ah you are only two years older than me! We are still so young and isn't it frightening to think that we have so much life to live without the love of our life?
Love and hugs
Mel.
I don't like the term "moving on" because it sounds to me like we are leaving our loved ones and the life we had with them behind. I like the term "moving forward" as it implies that, while life goes on, our loved ones are still with us in our hearts and minds.
Sarah2nd, I so much understand what you are saying. Yes, I do think it is getting harder now as we approach the first anniversary. I am sorry you are not sleeping great, that sure makes things harder. Hoping you feel a little better today!
Mel.
I don't like the term "moving on" because it sounds to me like we are leaving our loved ones and the life we had with them behind. I like the term "moving forward" as it implies that, while life goes on, our loved ones are still with us in our hearts and minds.
Hi Mel and everyone sorry I’ve not been about, on the 5th of my I had my daughter and grandchildren and all my darling husband family and close friends at the house, we had laughter and lots of tears but most of all we had a wonderful time remembering the good times together, my husband loved family times having his parents and brother and sister around is really comforting as they were a really close family, to me I just take each day as it comes now it’s the only way I can deal with everything, I have started sleeping a little bit better but not enough really, I just can’t get my head round that we should have had at least another 20 or so years together we are only in our 50,s it’s just so hard to think that I will never spend that time with my husband sole mate and best friend, people keep telling me it dose get better but when because I still feel the same now as I did a year ago, x I hope everyone is doing as well as possible love and hugs to everyone Miranda ( my Angel)
