Young Adults who have lost a parent

Hello everyone

Today is my mums birthday its been a sad day to say the least. My mum passed away 14thNovember 2013 from secondary bone cancer the last 8 months ave been a real struggle to say the least. I am 23 I was 22 when my mum passed away. I am a mum myself I had my daughter very young at 17 I am also still with my daughters dad we have been together 8 years and my daughter will turn 6 in just over a week. My mum was my rock she was the best mum I could of asked for and I'm still finding life very hard without her. I have my partner who is always there for me but no one can ever replace your parents. I have had to be so strong for my daughter as I am her rock and had to ensure daily life has carried on even tho my heart aches and longs for my mum. At work I have a few friends in there late 40s who have lost a parent and talking to them feels wrong in a certain respect because I stand and think well there so much older than me and I should b going through this pain and these emotions at there agfe not at the yuoung age oif 22\23 I also feel that they had so much more years with there loved one than me I had 22 years and I would give my life to have that doubled. 

Sorry for the ramble xxx

HI

I am "old" I am 46 and lost my best friend , my rock and confidant 24 days after diagnosis in November and am now estranged from most of my immediate family. I cry nearly every day some more than others but I have a strong caring and supportive partner.

Today I have responded as I believe they should have so many more support groups and help for all  of us that have lost loved ones as they are so hard to find and have long waiting lists. However like you all my niece is in the same situation as you all, my sister was never a Mum to her and my Mum brought her up as her own all these years. The Monday before my Mum was diagnosed I was with my Mum when my niece phoned so very excited about their engagement, the Thursday they found her breast cancer had spread to her brain, we lost her 24 days later with my niece, my 20 year old son and nieces fiance and myself by her side. She is struggling so much trying to do what my Mum would have wanted and after my father has so disregarded every wish of my Mum and disrespected her memory my niece has made the decision of walking down the aisle on her own with a seat left open for my Mum.  She is currently seeing a counsilor as she did not want to wake up in the morning as this was the only place she could be to be with my Mum. Nobody is equipped for such a devastating loss and while my Mum was there for my sons birth she will never see him graduate, I am a single mother and she was his second Mum. I do not think anyone realizes how many young people such as yourselves there are that need help and support and like you say, not being disrespectful of anyone else, I helps to be able to share with our own age group. I do hope you manage to find some way of getting one started and I will you all luck and lots of hugs xx 

Maybe if you cannot get a group through macmillan, maybe start your own group on here with MacMillan and set up a way get together at different areas around the country 

Hi all, I have just joined this community having felt very alone in dealing with my Mum's death for the last few weeks. It's good to hear from other people feeling the same sorts of emotions. I am 30 years old and my Mum died in June, she was only diagnosed with bowel cancer in January and I was her full time carer for 3 months until she passed away. The whole year has been a nightmare and sometimes I can't believe it has actually happened. My Mum was the first person I would call whenever I needed to talk to someone, and I think the hardest thing is feeling so alone and lost. I haven't heard from my Dad in 2 years and don't expect I will again, but I do have a brother, we are close but deal with things differently and he gets impatient with me when I talk negatively. My friends have been incredibly supportive but none of them have lost a parent, and my closest few friends are married and having babies so I don't want to be a burden on them. I went back to work 3 weeks ago and this helps in terms of keeping busy, but is also hard because I work in a hospital and see things that remind me of recent experiences. I feel a bit stuck in terms of I want to get back to enjoying my life but I don't know how to move forward. Like some others on here I seem to either feel numb or overcome with grief, and neither feels particularly healthy. It's a shame there is no support network for young adults, I am not too keen on the idea of counselling as I think what I am going through is normal and I'm not sure if it would help. Best wishes to you all,

Hello again.

AsNicola k suggested I have emailed McMillan and asked them if it would b possible to have a group for young adults who have lost a parent. Hopefuliy they will create one I believe it helps talking to people but it would b nice to talk to people same age range as I feel they could understand that little bit more.

I will letyou all no if I hear back about the group

Hope everyone is doingOK xxxxxxxxk

Hi again everyone,

It seems there are a lot of us going through similar things (but things that are a bit different to older people) and I think a macmillan group would be really good so we can all chat.  I also would like to find or help set up an actual physical support group.  I live fairly near London and feel there should be something around here.  I have searched online with no luck.  If anyone knows of a way I can find out about groups or have support working on setting up a new one please let me know.  

Hope to keep chatting to you all.

Alison

There aren't any in London. I have looked. I started this thread for that very reason.

It would be good if you all could email me your contact details and we can all get connected, be it as part of an online group or an actual group that meets. My email is  [edited by admin]

I think it would be nice to be able to talk either online, on the phone or in person. 

Ben. 

Hi I'm 21 and I lost my dad when I was 20 I really feel like I have no one around me that has any similar experience to me, so it can be hard for my friends to relate to or understand my pain. I also find talking to my family (mum and sister) about it difficult as we are always trying to protect each other's feelings The only person I can really talk to is my councillor, which is good, but can sometimes feel a bit seperated. I think it would be really helpful to find a safe space to talk about and hear other peoples experiences so we could understand the complicated feelings that come with loosing a parent to cancer at a young age. If anyone finds any sort of support group in London or is interested in setting something up my email address is [edited by admin] Ari X

Hi
I lost my mum in April and was in the final year of my degree so kept myself busy and my emotions mostly hidden. The start of summer was tough (coming back home where she wasn't here any more) but again I kept busy but the last month or so I've completed shut down from the rest of the world. I sleep late at night because the night is the best time to be in peace and think and I wake up late and deal with either an empty house because my dad and brothers are at work or if they're at home we don't get on so it's not great either way. In this last month as I haven't been very busy and all I've had time to do is think about how ridiculous life is I'm slowly sinking and I'm changing and just loosing faith in the world. As someone who is always positive and the person friends come to for advice, I hate that this has changed me.
I live in Buckinghamshire and would really like to join a support group of some sort for young people. I haven't even bothered to go to a local one for the very reasons people have previously stated. If anything in Bucks or London is being arranged it would be great to hear about it.
I hope we all find peace and joy in life again.
M x 

Hi,

I live in London and it seems like there are a few people in London and nearby areas going through similar experiences. My email is [edited by admin] if anyone is setting something up or wants to chat.

Hope everyone is ok, Fiona.