My beautiful gran passed away a few months ago due to cancer. She was like my second parent as my dad was abusive. Because of this my mum was very ill for most of my childhood and I did much of the fun kid things with my granny. I am now dealing with sickening nostalgia and loneliness since her passing. A loneliness that can’t be fixed because I’m not physically lonely, but I’m lonely at the loss of her and everything about her.
her last wish was to make my university graduation, instead she passed days after I sent in my dissertation, I never got to show her my degree. It’s been months and I still cry about her almost every day and go to text or call her. I feel her loss though my entire body and I just want to know if anyone else feels like this. Being surrounded by people but lonely only for the one you have lost.
Hi Erin
The feeling of lonliness even amoung a crowd is really quite common when we feel our world has moved from normal. When my mum died I was hit for six though in her case her cancer was only diagnosed after she died, It was probably 2 years after my father died that I could really cope with hearing anyone playing bagpipes.
Things did get easier with time though I still think of things that might make them proud of what I have done and my wife and I even made a trip up to Glasgow to see my grandparents grave and meet some of dad's family.
When you are ready and if you think it might help there are a couple of specialist charities that can help - cruse bereavment care and the loss foundation.and of course you are always welcome to post on here too.
<<hugs>>
Steve
