My husband died from metastatic prostate cancer.

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My husband died three weeks ago from the effects of metastatic prostate cancer.  He was diagnosed with prostate cancer at the end of 2018 and underwent radiotherapy in 2019. His psa level was fine until June 2023 when the psa level went up.  He started on Apalutamide and then went onto Abiraterone. He was then offered a trial through Addenbrookes.  We waited and he went for tests but we were told he wasn't eligible because he'd been on two types of medication. He was then  offered chemotherapy which he began in June 2024.  After eight sessions, his body had had enough.  He had no appetite, lost so much weight and used a walking stick.  He went into hospital at the beginning of this year and died at the end of the month. I feel bereft, lonely and questioning life.

  • Hi Haworth - I feel your pain, my husband lost his fight against Mesothelioma on the 31 January 2025.  He was diagnosed 20 months ago, he had 5 rounds on immunotherapy & had to stop due to side effects, 3 rounds of Chemo that were stopped due to severe kidney injury, we were then told only option was a clinical trial - he was told he was strong enough & passed all the tests he needed, he started on a first in human trial on 2 December & became unwell on the 19th - following a scan we were told that his cancer had progressed faster than at anytime since his diagnosis & sometimes these things happen.  He was treated for a blood clot & went into the hospice on 31 December just for a medication review, he actually only got home for 2 days.  We still haven’t had his funeral it is next Friday - because his cancer was caused by asbestos we have to have coroners inquest in April & we had to wait for them to open & adjourn the case before we could arrange a funeral - it took them 13 days.  I Also feel bereft & lonely & miss him more with every passing hour.  

    The best advice I’ve been given is just to take it hour by hour & don’t put any pressure on myself & if I want to scream & cry then just do it.  I feel for you & offer my very deepest condolences.

  • Hi Wardyboy, thank you for your post, I found it comforting. We're both in the early stages of grief for our husbands, and your advice to take life hour by hour is sensible. I'm so sorry for your loss. Your husband was so brave to go through all the different treatments, to be given hope and then have it dashed by the speed of his cancer. I'm also sorry you've had to wait such a long time for the coroners inquest. We were hoping that my husband would get home. We saw a palliative care nurse on the day before he died and she said he could come home that weekend, which filled me with hope, only to have it taken away by his passing the next day. I'm having trouble sleeping, have been to the doctors for some medication but can only take it short term.

    Hour by hour is the best way forward.