Dad died yesterday

Hi Tuesday2Tuesday, and welcome, I am so sorry to hear about your dad, and know from personal experience what an awful time you have all been through, and can I offer my sincerest condolences to you and all your dads loved ones at this heart breaking time for the family.

There is no real, right or wrong way to deal with grief, from my own experience, be kind to yourself, we all think, what if, and if only, and it serves no purpose, none of us are professionals or have lots of experience with what you have just been through, all we can do is our best.

Don't deny your emotions, if you want to scream or shout, have a good cry then do so, I found talking to people who understood what you have been through so important, and exercise would help me out of the lowest points and give me a little boost generally, my exercise was walking.

Take care of yourself, it's so important you do, It's normal your going to be very emotional and lost, the days will seem so much longer for a while, and getting out of bed a chore at times, but try to do 1 thing a day for you, it doesn't matter what as long as it's something you like, you will have people who care about you, It helps to let them in and remember your not alone.

I'm sorry I cant help with your housing situation, hopefully someone who can will come along, maybe the Macmillan helpline 0808 808 00 00 can help.

Eddie

Thanks for being so welcoming. It means a lot. I finally was able to cry after seeing the last written note on the same day he passed. The day I saw his body in the living room my body went into shock. This is my first time grieving. I will try to make space for exercising later this week, and make plans to have some structure.

You're correct on how days feel longer than usual, I think in my case it was because a majority of my life was taking care of him. Today I went for a walk with the family, and already I notice the change in family dynamic + drama. 

It took me a while to text my close friends about what happened, but I am happy to have so many people to talk to if I need help. After I graduating I was not able to go see my friends due to caring obligations. 

Sometimes it doesn't seem real, we all seem to think of going back to "normal", but it does not exist anymore. Like a weight has been lifted but its a bit hollow now.

I was also assured about housing plans, a few friends are kind enough to let me stay in case anything happens.

Hi Tuesday2Tuesday, you are welcome, I'm glad you had a good cry, and had a walk with family, they are a good release, as are good friends you can confide in, and catch up with. You seem to have a few good friends, who will give you a home, should the worst happen, real friends.

Losing a parent does leave a big hole in your life, but life finds a way of filling that hole, but never completely.

 I wish you well my friend, I was where you are a few years ago, I'd lost my mum, my job and my lifelong partner, and felt lost, but I fell in love again, found a rewarding job and my kids have given me 12 grandchildren, a wonderful life, which is what I hope for you.

love Eddie xx