Hi,
Yesterday we were told by the hospital to prepare that Dad's treatment may need to stop (he only had one round of chemo). Then in a strange turn of events, we were called to the hospital late last night as Dad was found unconscious. We rushed in, went straight to his room and found him there alone lying in his bed. We weren't sure if he was still alive and then we soon realised he had passed. A doctor then appeared and apologised that someone hadn't stopped us walking in and finding him already passed as this was a truly horrible experience and I feel the hospital handled this badly. It feels awful that Dad in this way in a stress situation surrounded by a crash team of around 10 or so medics coming to try resus for 40 minutes. I know some people choose to pass alone and maybe this is what he wanted but it does feel horrendous that we missed being there with him by 15 minutes.
So now it's day one on the next stretch of this horrible long journey we've faced with Dad over the past few months. Diagnosed with AML on 10/9 and passed away on 27/10. We had been given hope of two good years if treatment went well. Sadly it was not to be. He wanted so desperately to live and fought so hard with such an amazing attitude. I couldn't be prouder of him.
Any advice on how to cope with this would be truly appreciated.
Tilly
Hi Tilly75
So sorry to hear about your dad and the way you found him, totally understand how shocking that was.
I missed my dad dying by about 30 minutes but when I did get to see him he was tucked up in bed and just looked asleep and so comfortable.
Many people find the bit just after a loved one dies as a bit of a whirlwind with being so busy looking at funerals, probate and all the rest and only when things settle down again do they get the time to really miss them. Whatever there is no right or wrong answer and it is what works for you. My dad's funeral was a wonderful celebration of his life. It sounds like your dad did a wonderful job raising you and I am sure you will make him proud going forward.
Remember to be nice to yourself and take the time you need.
<<hugs>>
Steve
Tilly, a friend sent me this when I lost my Dad.....I hope it helps. Xxx
